The Olive Tree Community

Mistake

2011-03-30T08:31:00.001-07:00

Sorry, apparently the link I posted was wrong. Hopefully this one works... Temporary Sanctuary.

I miss all of you. Please stop by and say hello when you have a moment. :)

~Erin

Temporary Sanctuary

2011-03-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear blog friends,

If any of you are interested in catching up on my life, I have finally started blogging again at Temporary Sanctuary.

I apologize for losing touch with you all. I would love for you to visit me there.

xoxo,

Erin

Laylah & Lior Photography

2010-10-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to let you know about my new photography blog... Laylah & Lior... I hope you will visit me there!

Much love and many blessings,

Erin

The Wiferson Handbook

2010-09-29T13:49:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to announce that I just posted my first entry in my new blog, if interested, please check it out here... www.thewifersonhandbook.blogspot.com

XOXO

2010-09-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Hello my bloggy friends,

Soooo.... I tried out Wordpress for a day, and although I liked it and may continue writing there from time to time, I decided that I am much more comfortable here with Blogger. I still feel like I need to go in a different direction though, so you can now find me here... www.thewifersonhandbook.blogspot.com. I think there may also be a link to it on my info page. I have not started writing yet... just trying to get my page all set up right now, but feel free to check it out! Once I get the boys to bed tonight and some of my schoolwork done, I am hoping to have a little bit of time and energy left to start blogging! I am very excited about this new journal. :) After going through a 10 year marriage, divorce, and now a new marriage... I need a place where I can write about my mistakes and successes, as I continue to learn and grow... I hope you will join me on this new adventure! I have been buried in schoolwork, but desperately need a place where I am not told what to write and can express myself more freely. I apologize once again for being sooooo far behind at catching up with your lives and hope you are all doing well. xoxo

As always, I wish you much love and many blessings,
Erin

Moving...

2010-09-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

If anyone is still reading,

My family and I have moved again. I was severely allergic to the other house. We are living in a much healthier environment now. I have been taking an English composition class for the past 5 weeks and have done nothing but write essays. As a result, I have been feeling drained of words and temporarily lost the desire to write blogs. My oldest has decided to go back to public school this year, and I am continuing to stay home with my youngest. We are still in the process of adjusting to our life as a new family and my husband and I have had many battles to fight and overcome over the past several months. Regardless, we continue to remain strong in our faith and to our devotion to one another and our family.

I have made the decision to move from here as well. It seems that my page has been taken over by strange comments while I've been away. I also feel like it's a new Chapter in my life now... so I need to start fresh and clean somewhere else. I have loved my time spent here at Blogger and hope to stay in touch with those of you whom I have grown to know and love through blogging. I am going to keep my account here for now while I transition. In the meantime, you can reach me at theolivetree7@hotmail.com.

I am looking forward to starting over, and hope that we are able to stay in touch. I pray that you are all well. Forgive me for getting so far behind in your lives... I have been struggling to keep up and miss you all so very much.

Much love and many blessings,

Erin

Long overdue update

2010-07-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. :)

I'm sorry, I know you probably think I just dropped off the face of the Earth! Just wanted to fill you in with a quick update as to why I have not had a chance to blog recently.

A week after I moved and got married, I started school full time online to get my Associates degree in Christian Ministry. I had no idea how much of my time it was going to require, but it has been completely consuming me. I just finished up my first 3 week long course and started a new class today, without a breather in between. I am so mentally exhausted, sigh.

I am desperately struggling to find balance in my life right now and unfortunately have had to put a few things on the back burner for a moment (including my blog) until I adjust to all of these changes. To be honest, when I'm not doing my school work, I don't want to be anywhere close to the computer, as I am spending so much time doing all of my assignments online. Even as I am writing this now my brain is thinking about APA guidelines, ha!

On top of trying to balance school with being a wife, a mommy, and a (neglectful) friend... our faith has been pushed to the limits recently. Nolan's job transfer fell through after a lengthy waiting period, we have had one problem after another with our new house (which is still filled with unpacked boxes), including lead paint and septic gas fumes, and we have also been struggling to adjust as a new family as we all live together for the first time. To add to the stress, over the past month we have become completely financially drained. As a result, it has brought us closer to our Father in Heaven, as we have been forced to depend completely on his grace and mercy, along with the generosity of others to help fill our humanly needs.

I feel this deep stirring inside my soul that I can not quite pinpoint, but I know that we are going through these tribulations for a reason. I feel as though we are being prepared for something to come. It has caused me to look at life and survival in a completely different light, and not take what we have for granted. Just as the birds in the sky do not worry about what they will eat or where they will sleep, neither should we. We are already taken care of and provided for.

And on an even more positive note...

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was so sweet and simple. Nolan's father married us at their house, with just immediate family present. His mom made finger food for afterward, my friend Jamie took our photographs as a gift, and I accessorized a dress I already owned and had never worn. Our total cost- $0. It was perfect and I so am crazy in love with this beautiful man. It's hard to believe that tomorrow will be our one month anniversary already. I am so blessed to have him not only in my life, but in my boys' lives as well. Although the adjustment has been difficult at times, he has been so incredible with them.

Also, although we have been put through many tested and trials recently, God has shown his love and devotion to us over and over again down to the smallest details. It is so good to have a husband who is so strong in his faith. When I am weak, he lifts me up. And when he is down, I help him stand his ground. As long as we keep God firmly rooted in the center of our marriage, I know that we can get through anything and everything together.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love." ~ Romans 8:38

I hope and pray that you are all doing well. I will try to post some photos soon. I apologize that there is so much distance between us and that I have not been able to keep up with your lives... I miss writing and reading your blogs so badly, but right now I have to focus on my family and my school work. Hopefully I will find a way to balance everything eventually. In the meantime, please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we continue to transition.

Much love and many blessings,
Erin

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned..."

2010-05-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry... I know that I have been neglecting my blog. I have purposely been waiting to share any news until I know for sure the direction we're headed in. A few things have fallen into place, but we are still waiting in other areas. It has been a test in patience and faith. All I can do right now is continue to pray and wait upon God. Our life is in His hands and there is nothing more we can do but trust in Him.

For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. ~ Jeremiah 29:11

I feel like I need to give you all something to tide you over while you wait on the edge of your seats in suspense. (As if you have nothing else better to do, ha!) So, I present to you... my bling! I promised Nolan I would show it off. ;)

Isn't it gorgeous??

XOXO, Erin

Worth the wait...

2010-04-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

Please forgive me... I am really behind on my posts lately and they are a bit out of order. I have been so busy trying to keep up with life lately that I can barely find the time to document it. I want to continue sharing with family and friends what's going on in my life though, so I'm going to try my best to continue writing and posting photos! Plus, I want to have these words and memories written down for myself, and also to share with the boys when they get older... along with (hopefully) more children of our own one day. :)

Nolan came to stay a few weeks ago for several days. We had been apart for almost 4 months. It was so good to see him again in the flesh... to be able to look into his eyes, feel his hand in mine, watch his lips move while speaking, to see him interact with the boys... sigh, and now he is gone again and it's difficult looking at these photos. They bring a smile to my face and make my heart grow warm... but at the same time, it causes me to miss him even more. I know that the next time he returns it will be for good. He is moving back this summer, right before we get married. And even though time seems to be flying by and there are so many things to be done and put in order before his arrival, it aches so badly being apart from him again.

Thankfully I have been so busy that it helps distract me a little... I am still job searching, packing, homeschooling, researching schools for myself, going to family events and celebrations, trying to organize a garage sale, and of course planning an elopement ceremony and honeymoon... which has recently taken an interesting new twist. :) So, I'm sure he will be here again before I know it!

His visit here was not exactly as relaxing as we had hoped it to be. 2 days before he came back I got sick with a chest/ head cold and fever (which I am still trying to fight off. Can't seem to get rid of this cough and congestion.) So, I was a bit whiny and cranky and kept him awake thrashing around in a feverish coughing fit, while the boys fought over covers and kicked each other all night long. In between the sickness and exhaustion, we had a lot of activities planned including a David Gray concert (which was his Christmas gift to me) and also a trip back to our hometown for a whirlwind visit to see our families. With a 3 hour time difference, Nolan was also fighting jet lag... and we seemed to spend a lot of our time in the car. Oh, and the temperatures decided to drop from the 70's back down into the 40-50's right before his arrival... so the drastic change in weather was not helping my mood either.

Regardless of all those things, it was so worth the wait. The moment I saw him in the airport my heart began to race and I felt myself melt back into his arms again. After we got to the car he gave me a small box containing a promise ring, which fits me so beautifully. The next evening I finally got to get dressed up and go on a real date with my fiance. He endured the David Gray concert and lengthy encore out of love for me. (Not that he's hating on David or anything. It's just not his cup of tea, lol.) Although, honestly... just knowing he was sitting by my side, and being able to hold his hand was more than enough of a gift for me. Afterward we went to an old favorite place of his, shared a plate of pita bread and hummus and had a drink. Often I would feel envious of other couples going out together... and so it was nice that we finally had our moment together.

The next morning we got up early and went to church. It was the most amazing feeling having him by my side. Holding his hand as we walked up to take communion together... he is everything I have ever hoped and prayed for... sometimes I can't believe that he is real. To finally have someone in my life who shares my beliefs, my faith... and who wants to go to church with me. It was such a blessing to share that time with him and I am so happy he had a chance to meet some of my friends while there. After that we drove a couple hours back to our hometown where he met the boys for the first time (who had stayed with my mom the night before so we could go out), and also met my entire family... including my mom and step-dad, my dad and my step-mom, and my sister and brother-in-law. I know it had to have been so overwhelming and I was so proud of him for enduring it all. When we first got there he sat down with the boys at my mom's table and began to draw with them. It was such a good way to break the ice and for them to do something together that they all enjoy. The family introduction went really well and then we took the boys with us to visit his family, whom I have already spent time with on my own. His sister has two boys very close in age to mine, so they had a chance to play together again and it was so good just to finally be there with him!

The next couple of days were spent together with the boys. They took to him so naturally and it was really nice to watch them finally interacting with one another. We got back late that night, so the next morning Nolan let me stay in bed and drink coffee while he took them to breakfast in the dining room at the hotel. After that we went to look at the apartment together that we are planning to move to this summer. We drove around the neighborhood for a bit and showed my oldest where he will be going to school. They really liked the area and were happy that the apartment community had a large grassy area to play in and park close by. We took them to get sweet treats at a coffee shop and then went swimming at the indoor pool. The next morning we went to the playground for awhile, then had to take Nolan to the airport, and he shared another meal with them before saying goodbye.

I think what reassured me the most about his visit is that it was not perfect, it was not relaxing, and it was such a huge dose of reality. I know there are some people who have been concerned that we have been living in some sort of long-distance fairy tale la la land and that when our worlds finally collide in reality our dream bubbles were going to burst. But, I feel as though we have endured more than most people do in a very short time period. Long-distance relationships require an enormous amount of patience and devotion to one another. All you have are your words... your phone conversations, your e-mails... you are forced to share... to talk late into the night... there are not any distractions. We can't watch movies, eat dinner, go places, do things together... we are not distracted by any sort of physical interaction... so we have grown in other ways. Emotionally digging into our past, sharing stories and thoughts and feelings, praying together, searching together, growing together... and our time spent together is not taken for granted. This last visit was difficult and yet I feel it made our relationship even stronger than it was before. I know that if we can endure all that we have gone through so far, and with God in the center of our relationship... our marriage... our family... we can get through anything together. :)

To anyone who still reads my blog, thank you for taking the time to care enough about my life to continue following my journey. I am sorry that I am struggling to keep up with your lives lately. I look forward to not being in transition anymore and finally getting settled into a new routine and rhythm... it's just going to take time. I need you to know though how much I appreciate your patience and encouraging words. You have no idea how much they mean to me...

Much love and many blessings,
Erin

And now for your viewing and listening pleasure...a lengthy photo stream, which of course would not be complete without a David Gray video. :)

"Please forgive me if I act a little strange, for I know not what I do... feels like lightning running through my veins, every time I look at you."

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

2010-04-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had a good weekend. :)

The boys went to stay with my mom, so while they were gone I went to Target to get them some goodies. Last year I made Resurrection day boxes, so this year I decided to do Resurrection evening bags. I read an article recently on chocolate slavery and it was so sad and eye opening. As a result, I decided to seek out slave free organic chocolate, along with some naturally sweet fruit treats. There is a good list of where to find it here. I was tempted to buy clone trooper helmet baskets, but in order to save money, I got inexpensive gift bags instead and filled them with recycled shredded paper. I also bought them new markers and pads of paper, which we go through very quickly! Of course they also got Easter treats from their Grammy, Stan, Papaw, and Lexi... which was really sweet of them, but enough to probably last until next year. :) They had such a good time with my family. They had an egg hunt and went bumper bowling with my mom, her fiance, and my sister and brother-in-law, and then to church with them this morning before coming back home this afternoon.

I spent yesterday catching up on e-mail and blog reading & writing and tried to get as much R&R as I could soak up. I have been battling bronchitis again for the past couple of weeks, and even though there were a million things I really needed to get done this weekend, I knew it was important to take some time to rest. I have been trying to fight this virus naturally and was able to get rid of my sore throat and sinus infection by taking silver biotic and gargling with apple cider vinegar. But this chest infection just won't see to go away, and my asthma has been really severe as a result, so I have a doctor's appointment on Friday and will probably have to treat it with antibiotics again. :(

I coughed and wheezed all through church this morning, but was so happy I made it through... they combined all 3 services into one this morning and met a conference center instead of at our normal location. I was running a few minutes behind, so I had to park really far away and take the shuttle (aka, daycare bus) over to the building, along with a few other people. It was so good to celebrate the rising of our Christ with my church family. It was a really unique service... they had artists painting during the Pastor's message and passed out coloring pages and crayons to the kids to create along with them in their seats. I couldn't help but wish the boys and Nolan were there with me, as I knew they would have enjoyed it. It was nice to see a couple close friends after the service for a few moments, and then I got back on the shuttle bus (as the only passenger aboard!) The new driver and I joked about how he was my own personal shuttle chauffeur and then I pretended to be on a safari expedition. I didn't see any wild animals on my way back to the car, but we did pick up another person along the way who was tired of walking too. :)

I have had this worship song in my heart all week and was so happy to hear and sing it this morning in church... my favorite lyrics of this song are, "Break my heart for what breaks yours"....

After I got home and had a late breakfast I felt kinda lazy about shuttling it (even though I think being sick and asthmatic is a good excuse!) but also, the weather was gorgeous today, so I decided to take a walk with my camera, soak up some sunshine, and capture the first buds and blossoms of Spring. I absolutely love this time of new growth and re-birth. The sun was so rejuvenating, and even though I was out of breath by the time I got home, it was good to get a little fresh air and exercise.

Not long after I got home, the boys returned and were excited to find goody bags on their beds. We had dinner and got caught up, they drew some pictures with their new markers, played outside for a bit, and are now fast asleep in bed.... sigh. Weekends always go by so fast. I am hoping to feel better very soon because I have a super busy weekend ahead of me coming up! My mom is getting married this Sat and then Sun we're going to my brother and and his wife's baby shower. My doctor's appointment isn't until the end of the week... so please pray a quick healing for me! I was planning to go to my woman's Bible study in the morning, but think I am going to stay home and rest. I am hoping the drastic change in temperatures begins to even out a bit and that this Spring is filled with renewed strength, energy, and health!

I always have to remind myself that as much pain and sickness and suffering we experience in our lives, it is NOTHING compared to what Jesus took on for us. I am so thankful that God has not only nailed our sins to the cross... but also, that through Him we have been promised new life! I pray that whatever it is you are going through right now, that God will heal and restore you. I am so blessed to have an amazing family and such good friends. I am so thankful for each of you. :)

Love and blessings,
Erin

Btw, I got my camera stuck in a weird setting... in case you're wondering why my pics are so slender. It's unstuck now though. :)

Oh, and just for your viewing pleasure... the peep version of one of my favorite shows, "Project Runway". Enjoy! :)

Food Revolution

2010-04-03T08:28:00.001-07:00

I have had a crush on Jamie Olive since I discovered his very first cookbook at the library many years ago. Admittedly, I only checked it out because I thought he was adorable. Since then, my fondness for him has blossomed into something much more mature, as I have watched him grow into an amazing husband, father, and health food advocate. What I love most about him is that he is not just talking the talk, but actually practices what he preaches, getting himself involved first hand in the lives of others. So, of course I was overjoyed to find out recently that he was getting his very own television show! With that being said, I got caught up in a "What not to Wear" Marathon while browsing Etsy for Wedding dresses last night and completely missed it this week! (I'm kicking myself right now. What kind of fan am I anyhow?! Lol.) Anyway, have any of you watched it yet? The reason I am so excited is that Jamie has been speaking out about these issues forever, but has only been able to reach a certain audience, so I am hoping this will open more eyes and ears to his incredibly important message, and that many lives will be changed in the process. If you are not familiar with him and/or are interested in checking out his website and show, you can find out more about Jamie Oliver here and here. Also, you can sigh his Food Revolution petition here. Thank you! :)

In my opinion, I think that a lot of people consume and feed their children unhealthy food because they don't know what the alternatives are, or they are afraid it will be too time consuming and costly. But, making healthy meals for yourself and your family does not have to be. You can still make nutritious food on a tight budget. There are a few initial costs involved though. I would highly suggest investing in a juicer, a rice cooker, and a wok or stir-fry pan. Most parents have a difficult time getting their children to eat enough veggies, and I do not agree with covering up the taste. It is so important that your children learn to love the taste of them, but there are some good ways to help ease them into the process. One way is through juicing....

There is a reason V8 splash and fusion are so popular... it is a way to get veggies in your diet with out actually eating them. But you can save money and get even more vitamins and nutrients through juicing, plus there are endless combinations! I started off first with apple, celery, and carrots. Once I got the boys drinking that on a regular basis, I started testing the waters a bit more. Now they are drinking kale, pineapple, spinach, lemon, etc. It is also so important to make it fun! I let the boys help me name the juice. So far we have had "Ninja Turtle Juice", "Jabba Slime" and "Incredible Hulk juice". (Can you tell I have 2 boys?)

It's also good to get your children into the habit of eating fruit as snacks and dessert instead of other unhealthy fillers. Often we have apple and carrot slices, celery and peanut butter, and bananas for snacks. Orange slices make a sweet dessert treat. :)

As for food... rice is so inexpensive and there are so many varieties.(My kids love Jasmine the best.)Having a rice cooker saves so much time and it always comes out perfectly! There are so many different things you can stir-fry up to top it with. I do mostly veggies, but you obviously also add tofu, veggie "chicken" strips, or even occasionally organic chicken, beef, or shrimp. I also love to add pineapple, agave, organic soy sauce, and freshly squeezed orange juice to stir-fry!

Another way to incorporate veggies into your child's meals is to make a dish that they love, such as mac-n-cheese ("Annie's" is a good brand) and throw in some peas, carrots, broccoli, red peppers, etc. My boys also love sweet potatoes with smart balance olive oil butter and agave. There are so many other things you can top it with... organic yogurt or shredded cheese, avocado, broccoli, etc. Let your imagination run wild and try different combination you may not have thought of before!

The best way though to get your kids to eat healthier is to get them involved in the process! My oldest loves making peanut butter, banana, and honey or agave sandwiches for himself and his younger brother. I also let them help me decide what goes into their juice and stir-fry creations. If they are allowed to give their input and feel included in the process, they are more likely to eat the end result. :)

The same goes for grocery food shopping. I know it's difficult as a busy parent to not rush through the grocery store. But make extra time once in awhile to let your children browse the produce section and ask questions about fruit and veggies they are unfamiliar with. You might learn something new as well. :)Farmers markets are also a fun afternoon outing for children and a good way to help them learn more about the importance of supporting local farmers. It is also good to take your kids to visit local farms, so they can understand the process of how much work goes into producing the food we consume. If you are blessed to have your own outdoor space and have room for a garden, they can get involved on a daily basic, and as a result will hopefully gain an amazing appreciation for the food on their plate. If you live in the suburbs or city and have a patio or balcony, you can still start a small potted garden or grow your own herbs. Or, if you're like me... I have a large yard now but will soon be moving into a place without ANY private outdoor space... I am hoping to get myself and my children involved in urban community gardening. So... no matter where you live there are always options! :)

I think the most important thing is having an AWARENESS of what you are buying and consuming. Don't just eat to fill your body. Take a moment and ask yourself if you feel you are being a good healthy example for your children and if there are any changes you can make in your life. One of the best ways we can show our children how much we love them is to take care of them and ourselves, so that we have more energy and life to share with one another!

Also, please remember that God gave us these magnificent bodies, and it is our responsibility to care for them. He also placed HIS children in OUR hands, and it is our responsibility to teach them to care for their little Holy temples as well. :)

1 Corinthians 6:19 ~ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

Eat, laugh, play, and enjoy!

Love and blessings,

Erin

Sunshine & shadows

2010-03-22T08:07:00.001-07:00

It is raining this morning, but the weather this past week was absolutely beautiful! The sun felt so good after a long and cold winter. :) Just wanted to share some photos I took while we were outside enjoying it....

hope you all had a good weekend!

XOXO, Erin

Chocolate Angel

2010-03-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

Alright people, hopefully this post will be slightly more uplifting, lol.

So, I had plans this past weekend to visit Jamie, who is my oldest & closest friend from High School. But, I awoke Saturday morning with massive cramps and was unsure whether or not I was going to make it out of bed. I desperately needed to get away though and do not like to cancel plans on people last minute, so I took some Advil, a hot bath, and pushed through the pain and my moody mood. The drive ended up being really therapeutic. Nolan sent me some new music in the mail the week before, including Massive Attack and a couple of beautiful mixed CDs... it rained the entire way there and I just allowed myself to relax and sink into the music as I drove. It was so nice.... and almost felt like he was in the car with me. :)

I'm really happy that I ended up going. It was so good to get out for the evening with some other women. We picked up a few of Jamie's friends and the rest met up with us at "The Chocolate Bar". Thankfully I was able to find something safe on the menu to eat. Although, it was comforting knowing that her sister Michelle (who is a nurse) was there in case I needed someone to stab me with my Epi pen. :)We ordered gaggingly sweet martinis (I ended up giving the rest of mine to Jamie after a few sips) and I skipped dessert because it's difficult to find sweet treats without eggs and I am really careful not to consume much sugar, other than fruit & agave nectar. But, it was a really nice restaurant and so good to have grown-up conversation!

We walked to another bar afterward and I ordered a vodka and cranberry, which is more my style... and on our way there we passed this really cool Organic restaurant that I am definitely going to have to go to the next time I'm in town. :) The weather was freezing cold and rainy, but it was kinda fun splashing through puddles and huddling under an umbrella with my bestest friend. :)

I had horrible insomnia that night, as I usually do when I stay away from home... but I talked to my honey on the phone for awhile and got to sleep in the next morning, which is always a nice treat. On Sunday I made lunch and then got coffee and we wandered around the mall for a bit before it was time for me to head back home. It was so good spending time with her and nice to get away, but the weekend went entirely much too fast!

This morning was the last day of my womens Bible study. I am really going to miss going. As difficult as it is for me to get myself out of the house and push through my comfort zone, I am realizing more and more how important it is to surround myself with other women. It really helps me to feel not so alone, knowing that I have a support system. I'm also finally understanding how good and healthy it is to occasionally go out for the evening. It felt so good to talk, laugh, and enjoy myself for once! :)

Hope that you all had a good weekend as well!

Love and hugs,
Erin

And for your listening and viewing pleasure....

My hope is built on nothing less...

2010-03-11T07:22:00.001-08:00

My dear bloggy friends,

I know that I've been writing about some pretty heavy duty stuff recently, but these are issues I feel need dealt with. Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. I wrote in journals for years before blogging, and have thrown away most of what I have written in the past because I felt I no longer needed to hold onto those things anymore. I have continued the process of opening up and exposing myself to the light through blogging, so that I may continue to heal from my past. To me, an important part of the process is simply just being honest with ourselves and others. To write about our inner struggles and demons exposes them, so that they no longer live inside of us... but outside, and therefore can no longer control us. They may still try to attack at times and it may continue to be an ongoing battle for some time, but eventually we begin to heal... to forgive... to trust... to let go... and to know that there is still hope for the hopeless. Thank you for continuing this journey with me.

I'm pretty sure it's just hormone-related... or maybe it's partially the rainy weather which causes my muscles and bones to ache and makes my head and face feel like they are going to explode... or maybe it's because my youngest has not been sleeping well this week, which means I have not been sleeping well this week.... or it could be that I am going through an enormous amount of change and am feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

Whatever it is, I feel cranky and mis-understood. I thought maybe I just needed to get away for a day or two... so I planned a trip this weekend to my best friend's house. She made reservations for us and several of her other girlfriends to go to a chocolate bar. I am worried that I will not be able to find something on the menu that is safe for me to eat. I am looking forward to girl time and I rarely ever go anywhere with other adults, especially not out to eat... but at the same time I am feeling really un-social and would almost rather just go sit alone in a cave by myself instead.

While I'm being honest now... I feel I should also add that lately I have been feeling like giving up blogging. I have been struggling with expressing myself, not only through writing, but through my personal conversations as well. I have been feeling very protective over myself and my life. It is in such a fragile state right now and I am being so overly careful not to make any of the same past mistakes. One thing I have recently recognized in myself though is that I tend to often shut down when I feel overwhelmed. As difficult as it is for me, I am trying really hard to push through that instinct. I am incredibly stubborn and strong-willed and have a hard time asking people for help... I tend to think I can take on the world by myself. At times I even become obsessive and controlling. What I am beginning to realize though is that it's mostly coming from a place of fear and insecurity.

So, I've decided today... instead of closing myself off, shutting down, or even running away... to write about it instead. I feel like now that it's out in the open, exposed to the light... it is released and does not have control over me. I'm also going to resist my desire to be alone and go out this weekend... push myself out of my protective comfort zone and do something different for once. As much as I do not feel like being around people and would rather stay in my jammies under the covers with a box of Kashi cookies and have a whiny cranky pity party for myself... I know that it is not healthy for me. I'm not saying that it's not okay to EVER do that. Everyone needs time to themselves occasionally and sometimes it just feels really good to snuggle up with comfort food and cry. But, my problem is that I get stuck in that mode and can't get back out again.

I have struggled with depression since I was in High School. At one point as I was put in the hospital for it after being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was on Lithium and had to go through many different forms of therapy. Eventually I got off of medication and have found other ways to deal with it that don't make me feel like a numb robot. I am able to cope with it so much better now and my relationship with God, along with the help and support of family and friends, has made such a difference. Back when I was in the hospital, I refused to admit that I had a problem. I would shut off and pretend that I was okay and would never talk about it to anyone, even though it was very obvious as a result of my behavior.

I have learned through God's forgiveness and grace though that I don't have to be afraid to talk about it anymore... I don't have to be ashamed or feel bad about admitting that I still occasionally struggle and need help and support. Depression does not have to control me... I do not have to run or hide from it. And I'm also not going to pretend that it doesn't exist. It is something that I cope with almost daily, some days are worse than others... this time of the month is the worst of all just because I am hormonal on top of everything else.

Opening up, writing, talking, finding others who can listen, relate, pray for you... those are the things that have helped me through. Although spending quiet time alone occasionally in silence, meditation, prayer, or Scripture reading is very important and much needed... it's also so vital to seek out community and support. I am also finding that laughter is SO good for the soul. Recently the boys and I have been playing mad libs and they are just so hysterical. The other night we also took serious and then silly photos and danced around the room to music. I felt so much better afterward.

Another thing that I struggle with, especially during the long winter months, is getting enough fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. Long walks with my camera in hand during the warmer months always re-energizes my soul, and in the colder months I try to do yoga twice daily and even occasionally just walk around the mall or the grocery store to get some excess energy out and be around other people in public. I also try to limit my caffeine intake to 1-2 cups of espresso a day, because it spikes my energy level and when it drops I feel groggy. I try to juice every day, eat lots of raw fruits and veggies, and take vitamins and supplements.

I also have difficulty getting enough sleep, which I know has an enormous impact on my health and mood. I have had chronic insomnia since I was pregnant with my oldest, for 7 years now. It's mostly a result of not being able to shut my mind off at the end of the day. It usually helps a little to take a long bath, do yoga, meditate, read Scripture, and pray. I have tried all kinds of different natural herbs and sleep remedies. Most help me to relax, but not fall asleep. I usually have to take Unisom as well. Obviously, lack of sleep can cause irritability and moodiness, not to mention many other health issues. So, I try to get as much rest as possible by taking time to let before bed to take time to slow down and let go of all worry and anxiety. Easier said than done though. :)

Something that has really helped me recently is going to a woman's group at church every Monday morning. We have been doing a Bible study through a workbook/ video series called, "Me, Myself, and Lies" lead by Jennifer Rothchild. It has been incredibly challenging for me, as I've been forced to take a peek inside my thought closet and look at why I have convinced myself of certain lies about myself. The last Chapter in the workbook deals with Hope, which is something I have needed an extra dose of lately. It has taken us into the Book of Psalms, which I tend to relate to more than any other.

Psalm 42:5 "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again Praise Him for the help of His presence."

When I become overwhelmed and filled with worry, despair, and depression...

Psalm 61:2-4 "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I: For thou has become a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy."

It is in these words and through the hope that I have in Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, that gives me the strength I need to get out of bed and make it through each day.

I am curious as to what helps you through your dark, moody, and depressed days?

Hope you all have a good weekend. :)

Much love and many blessings,
Erin

The OTC

2010-03-08T09:17:00.000-08:00

My sweet friends,

Our little tribe is in transition right now. Nolan and I have been praying for God's guidance and direction. Originally we had planned to stay in the burbs... mostly because of safety and good schools. Those things are still very important to us. But my heart is strongly feeling tugged at and pulled back to the city again. I have been fighting it for years now. I think I even wrote about it in a past blog... but ended up staying in the safety of the suburbs. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with suburban life. Who doesn't want their family to feel safe? But there is a big difference between the natural instinct of protecting your children and sheltering them from the world. I have not only been overly protective of them, but also over myself as well.

It has been bothering me lately. I don't like that they think that if we run out of food, all we have to do is go to the store and buy more, so they can eat as much as they want. I don't like how demanding and selfish and unappreciative they have become. I don't like having to remind them before every meal to say a little prayer of thanks to God. I don't like that they think they can have whatever they want whenever they want without understanding the blessings behind it all.

Things need to start changing very soon. I don't ever want my children to worry about starvation, but I do want them to understand where their food comes from and the sacrifices each person along the way made for it to get from the ground to their plates. I also want them to understand that many people do not have the finances and/or access to healthy food. This knowledge has been plaguing me for quite some time now and I can no longer ignore it. I think it's awesome what food banks and soup kitchens help provide people with groceries and meals. But I can not help but question how healthy those foods are that they provide. I know that budget is always an issue... but it seems to me there has to be a way to provide people in the inner city with access to affordable organic produce. That is one of the reasons I love the idea of urban community gardens so much. Not only does it provide healthy food, but it brings people together to work towards building a stronger neighborhood.

This is what the boys and I had for lunch today...

Although I noticed that veggies were missing, so I will have to make sure that they get some through snacks and dinner. I have a difficult time getting them to eat enough veggies, so I juice a lot... carrot apple celery is our favorite. :) Today the boys had veggie "chicken" nuggets, organic corn chips, fresh pineapple slices, and organic chocolate milk. Normally they will only drink soy, but they will drink cow milk if it is in chocolate form. I had a turkey, cheese, and avocado sandwich on flax seed bread, corn chips, and pineapple slices. This is a pretty typical lunch for us. Not a day goes by, or a bite of food taken, that I forget to give thanks for the blessing our rich Father in Heaven has poured upon us. That's not to say that we don't have to skimp and save at times... to ration it out... to be aware of how much money we are spending and to make it last. But, He has always been faithful in taking care of our basic needs. I am acutely aware that there are others who need provisions, and I can not sit by any longer and do absolutely nothing to help.

They are also in the habit of eating lunch at 11:00 and dinner at 4:00 every single day, and they make sure to remind me of this. I don't know what they would do if their little schedule was suddenly thrown off. It would be an enormous catastrophe, there would be chaos and destruction, and also probably lots of whining and pouting, along with dramatic performances... including props, which would consist of empty plates and clocks. They have no idea what it feel like to be hungry. I mean truly hungry, in the sense of not having eaten for a long time and not having any idea when your next meal will be. I don't EVER want them to know what that feels like, but I DO want them to understand that it EXISTS in our world, and that people every day are suffering from it.

I feel myself being drawn to the city... and as terrified as I am of leaving my little comfort zone and am distraught at the thought of my time schedule getting turned upside down, I can not fight these stirrings any longer. So, I am praying for God to prepare me for this path I am feeling lead down. The other issue I am having to pray about is protection from my past demons. Another reason why I struggle with spending time in the city is a result of the life I once lived there many years ago. Most of you don't know that I used to be a drug addict (amongst other things). Although it has been over 12 years ago now, it is something I am still dealing with. I know that God has forgiven me, but I have been in the process recently of trying to forgive myself. My heart aches for people who are where I once was, and so I have been asking God to use me however he can... even if it's just to listen.

I have been putting all of my energy into my children for the past 8 years and have been recently focused on homeschooling. They are still my first priority, and I feel it has helped me to become stronger as a woman and has also taught me to be patient, understanding, and more loving. But there are things now that I feel called to myself. One of those things is school... I have gone back and forth about what area of study to focus on. Health/ nutrition/ and natural beauty products are very important to me... but beyond that, is the desire to teach that God has given us EVERYTHING we need to be healthy. And even beyond that... to help others understand the importance of taking care of our souls as well, through Scripture reading, prayer, and by forming and nurturing healthy relationship with God, our family and friends, and other people around us.

So, I have been praying... Lord, how can I combine all of my desires and passions into one ministry? And the answer was so clear and simple to me.

The Olive Tree Community.

I feel I still have a little way to go as God continues to prepare me... please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I embark upon this new journey.

Much love and many blessings,

Erin

Also, you may or may not be familiar with Jamie Oliver. Admittedly, when I first discovered his cookbooks years ago, I had a bit of a crush... but he has since become one of my biggest inspirations. He is a husband, a father, and a young crusader in the world of food. If you have a chance, please check out his website and click on "Campaigns". :)

And for further reading, check out this list of books on food/politics at Amazon.com

My many colored days... and memory foam nights.

2010-03-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

Good evening my dear bloggy friends,

It's Sunday night and I'm trying to figure out where the weekend went. Time just seems to be flying by so quickly these days. I have been without a car now for several months, so the only time I have access to the other car (J's) is on the weekend, which means I have to squeeze a lot of stuff into a small amount of time. Recently it's been spent collecting and returning job applications, apartment hunting, errand running, grocery shopping, and occasionally church when we're all healthy at the same time. Yesterday I went to look at another apartment and really loved it. The unit itself was pretty small, but there was a lot of open outdoor green space, which is very important to the boys. It was also in a nice neighborhood and in an excellent school district. It was not the area I had originally intended to move to, but I have been trying to keep an open heart and mind and follow God's lead... (more on that soon.)The sky was such a beautiful shade of blue and the sun was shining... it was the warmest day we have had in awhile. And by 'warm' I mean, high 30's, ha! :)

After that I ran a few errands.. went to Whole Foods and to my favorite toy store to see if they had Mad Libs (which they did & the boys were very excited about),then ran back home to grab a bite to eat, and then was off again to get a much needed hair cut. I had only been to that particular mall a couple times and never to the salon, so I realized when I got there that I could not remember in the mall where it was located. I speed walked through the entire second floor, unable to find it, only to finally discover that it was on the first floor, way at the entire opposite end of the mall. By the time I got there I was wheezy and sweaty. I was also completely embarrassed by my hair color, as I recently had a bit of a mishap. :(

It looked cute in the pic below for about two days until it started turning orange....

So, what happened was that I tried to put blonde streaks in my hair myself, but they were much too dramatic, so I tried to tone the rest of my hair down a shade using a mixture of lemon juice/conditioner and it was super cute at first (the pic in my last blog was taken after that). But then after a few more washes my hair started turning really orange and blotchy. So I decided to try to go back to light brown again, but instead it just turned the streaks a green-ish gray color. Then after much googling, I read that you have to use a red tone first as a filler, before dying brown over top. So then I colored it red, which turned it a horrible shade of orange/purple and then dyed it brown over top. For some reason most of my hair took the brown, but some rejected it, so now it's mostly really dark auburn brown, with purple/red on top. It only looks normal in this pic because you can't see my roots...

So, I am completely broke by this point, because I just spent so much money buying boxed hair dye, and the girl who cut my hair HIGHLY suggested I do not try to fix it again myself. So, thankfully... I remembered that I had a gift card for an Aveda spa/salon for a massage from like a year ago that I keep forgetting to use. After calling to inquire, they said I could use it for any treatment I want. So, I made an appointment to have my hair color fixed, and am giving up my massage... sigh.

It's a good thing I held onto that gift card all this time, because otherwise I would be forced to continue going out in public with really badly dyed hair. So... hopefully they will be able to fix the damage I have caused. The funny thing is (not ha ha funny) is that I am probably going to end up with the same color I had to begin with! I have definitely learned my lesson. And if I EVER decide to try to highlight my hair again myself, somebody please stop me! I mean, I've had hair minor hair trauma in the past, bu this definitely was by far the worst experience ever. Now I'm just praying that my hair doesn't fall out and have been spending a lot of time deep conditioning with olive oil, honey, and avocado. Yum :)

Today, on the other hand, was not so productive. The boys have both had colds and coughs all week and I have been feeling some congestion in my chest, but have been determined that I can fight it off with oranges. This morning I woke up with a splitting headache and pain in my chest though, so I decided to just take it easy in bed. I got caught up on e-mail, researched schools for the boys and myself, filled out my apartment application, caught up with my mom on the phone, etc. But, the absolute best part of it was that I did it all on my brand new memory foam mattress! Nolan knows that I have suffered for years with severe back and neck problems, so he decided we needed a new mattress and had it shipped to me this past week. :) Admittedly, I am feeling a little guilty about getting to sleep on it now, while he has to wait several more months. But, it's pretty amazing and definitely the most romantic gift ever. It's so sweet how concerned he is about my health and well being. :)

I have slept really well the past two nights, but my back is a little sore as it is trying to adjust to the new level of firmness. The funny thing is that when I first got it out of the package and put it on my box spring it looks so skinny and ridiculously dwarfed in comparison to my giant sleigh bed frame, so I decided to put it on top of my regular mattress as sort of a pillow topper. By the next morning though it had doubled in size and now I am up so high off of the ground! I thought about removing my other mattress, but decided that I kinda like being so high up in the air. I feel lofty and royal. Like the princess and the pea. :) So, I don't care what anyone says, I'm leaving it like this. It is hilarious though watching the boys try to get into it. They sorta run and jump, and then cling onto the side and shimmy up the rest of the way. Also, once they are on it, they have trouble getting back down. It's been fun cuddling up in it together though, reading Dr. Seuss books and laughing hysterically over Mad Libs.

There is just one person missing though... thankfully our tribe will be together in just a few weeks, when Nolan comes to visit for several days. In the meantime, it's nice to lay in bed and talk to him on the phone... daydreaming that he is snuggled up beside me. Sigh...

Nighty nite & sweet dreams...

XOXO, Erin

Does anyone else have any hair horror stories to share, or am I the only one?

P.S.- More than once I cut my own hair as short as Dolores O'Riordan. And in High school I used to have to listen to "the Cranberries" to be able to fall asleep every night. Even now they still make my eyelids heavy...

The Story of Us

2010-03-03T07:25:00.001-08:00

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you

I feel I should be honest now and let you know why I have not been blogging as often as I used to, and when I do... I have mostly been posting photos. It's partially because I am in the middle of preparing for some pretty big changes. But it's also because I am literally drained of words. Even to write now is taking a lot out of me. The reason being, is that I have been sending lengthy e-mails to Nolan. I've been sharing with him stories of my past, as a way of healing before entering into marriage. There is a lot I have not shared with anyone before now, and in the past it has caused friction in my relationships. The person I am now is not at all who I used to be... and although I know that God has forgiven me for my past mistakes and sins, I have not fully been able to forgive myself. I have spent many years carrying around a huge amount of guilt and shame. I have suppressed it to the point where it would come out in spurts, usually at the worst times. I have shut down, closed off, gone into deep depression. It has been quite a heavy burden to carry around.

But, I refuse let my past control me any longer... so I made the decision to start cleaning out my "garage" of past junk and getting rid of it once and for all. Thankfully, Nolan has offered to help. :) I know that it has been difficult for him to hear about what I have been through, but he recognizes that what has been done is in the past... and it is dead to me now. In the same way that I have been in the process of purging my life of "stuff", I am also purging myself of the darkness that has tried to linger within me. Getting it out into the open... shining light onto those dark places... and releasing myself of it, has been such an amazing cleansing and healing process. I feel so much lighter already. :)

Matthew 6:22-23
"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

Ephesians 5:8-10
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.

Revelation 22:5
There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Romans 13:12
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

So, I am going to tell you a lengthy story now as well, that is long overdue. :)

Nolan and I grew up in the same town, we went to the same small High School, we had many of the same close friends. And yet, I don't remember having one single conversation with him during that time. I can remember being around him in the same places, but not ever interacting. Then he went off to art school and I moved to the same city where he was in school, we continued to interact with many of the same people... and still, somehow our paths never crossed. Looking back now, I don't think it was a coincidence... I was in a very unstable & self-destructive place... and I feel that God was keeping us close to one another, while still putting a certain amount of distance between us. It was just not our time yet. He was still preparing our hearts and minds... tempering us for what was to come much later. After barely surviving those years of my life, I hit bottom... gave my life to God, and moved to Nashville, TN. Eventually I got married and we had our first son. We came back not long after he was born to go to a wedding in Ohio for close friends of ours, and it was there that I remember having my first (short) conversation with him.

It was not until this past fall that we finally spoke again. Strangely enough, we were brought back together through Facebook. Our conversations flowed so naturally and easily, and yet I still felt him holding back from me a bit. We were both being quite cautious and yet were a bit curious. J and I were separated, on the verge of divorce... and a new relationship was the last thing on my mind. Our conversations were friendly and witty... and we began to connect very deeply on a spiritual level. Although attracted to him, it did not start out as a physical or emotional thing. I did immediately feel a strong love for him though and an intense protectiveness. Something (God) was telling me to hold onto him, to not let him go... to keep pressing on. Somehow I was able to push through the hard exterior, and finally discovered that beneath it was the most beautiful gentle soul I have ever known. We began writing lengthy e-mails daily and eventually began talking on the phone regularly.

I also went back a few times to our hometown to spend time talking and praying with his mom at his family's house. I immediately felt at home and comfortable with her. I have also been able to spend a little bit of time with his sisters as well, and look forward to getting to know them better.. along with his father eventually. My mom and the boys have also met them, which is kinda funny because I have not actually been to his parents' house WITH HIM yet. :) Our relationship from the beginning has never been quite "normal" in the traditional sense of dating. But then again... nothing about either of our lives has ever been "normal" so it would only make sense for it to happen in this way. :)

Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

I knew not long after that he was the man I would marry. I never thought of him as a boyfriend. He felt first to me as a friend, then a spiritual companion, a help meet, a partner, and then a husband. He waited patiently through my process of divorce. Eventually he flew me to Vegas and we saw each other in the airport for the first time again in 8 years. I shared this story with a couple sitting with me on the plane and they stayed with me at the airport until he arrived. The woman whispered to me after witnessing our embrace and brief introductions, "He's a keeper." It was instant chemistry. A warmth rushed over me. I felt at home in his arms immediately. I was queasy and in pain from the flight (I found out later when I returned home that I had a double ear infection and pneumonia.) But that kiss... that soft sweet gentle concerned kiss, I will never forget.

He had made me a sandwich, with my special allergy safe bread, turkey, cheese, and avocado...(which appropriately enough, I am eating the same thing now as I type this) and we shared it together in the cab. He then surprised me with a gift card, so we could go shopping together. We arrived at the outdoor mall... and as he pulled and rolled my suitcase along behind him and we headed towards H&M, he said that we needed to make one quick stop someplace else first. It was then that I found myself being led into a jewelry store, where he had had selected the most beautiful, absolutely perfect antique silver diamond ring for me to get fitted for. My hands was shaking as I tried it on... it absolutely did not seem real. I remember thinking that I must be dreaming.

Although to people on the outside looking in, I'm sure it would seem sudden. But, I felt like God had been preparing us for this moment for so long, and it was finally our time. I have been waiting my whole life for him and didn't even know it. There he was, all along... right before my eyes, and I never noticed until now how perfectly and wonderfully made we are for each other. I'm sure this all must sound completely crazy to some people, but when you know... you just know. There is no questioning it. I have learned over time as I have grown as a Christian, that God's ways are not always our ways... but when He does something, wow, He does it way better than we could have ever envisioned it ourselves. To be honest, I would have never in a million years imagined us ending up together. When we changed our status on FB to "in a relationship", a mutual friend actually thought we were joking. :) But now that we are finally together... on the verge of becoming husband and wife... I can not imagine my life with out him. I am so incredibly blessed and blown away by God's hand in this. I am truly the richest woman alive!

Sometimes I seriously can not get over how gorgeous he is! And to know that he wants me as well, just completely blows my mind sometimes. Having thousands of miles between us has been difficult, but it has brought us so much closer mentally, emotionally, and spiritually since we are not distracted by the physical. ;)What really caused me to fall so much deeper for him though was the love and care he put into planning my trip and making sure I was taken care of while there.

He especially went out of his way ahead of time to learn more about my sulfite allergy and to prepare foods that would be safe for me to eat. He made sure to stock up the fridge with groceries from Whole Foods. There was just so much specific attention to detail. It was really nice to have some listen to me and care enough to make sure that I felt comfortable, relaxed, and loved.

We spent the next day wandering around in a sleepless blur, as I quickly tried to take in the beautiful surroundings... the mountains off in the distance... the incredible man by my side. And then just as fast as I had arrived, it was already time for me to go. It has been a few months now, and he will be back for a visit the end of this month for several days, as we spend time alone together and also with the boys. The waiting period has been at times excruciating, but I have kept myself distracted by remaining focused on the busyness of kids and homeschooling, also with purging, sorting, packing... along with working through issues of my past with his patient, non-judging, and loving support. Just knowing that soon we will be together again helps give me the energy and strength I need to push through and keep moving forward... I am so thankful for his encouragement along the way. :)

Now we are in the process of preparing for our future together. So much is going to change very soon. I have been diligently searching for a job the past few months. I have applied to nearly 20 places... it has been exhausting and frustrating, but I must continue pressing on and trusting that God will open a door for me. I have also been apartment hunting. Trying to find a place that is in a safe neighborhood with good schools, but also not too far from public transportation for Nolan, has been challenging. But, I think we may have finally found a place. Now my focus has been on trying to find an affordable preschool for my youngest and also possibly after-school care for my oldest, who will be returning to public school once I go back to work. Having stayed at home with my children for the past 8 years, I am honestly stunned by the cost of child care. And not being able to find a job has become daunting as far as trying to figure out how I will pay for everything. Although my oldest is excited about returning to school, my youngest is much more shy and is used to being with me all day. They are going through so many huge changes right now as well, so I want to make sure that this transition is as easy on them as possible. As a result, they have been going through the process along with me... we have had many lengthy discussions about what is going to happen in the next few months, and I have made sure to be very sensitive of their thoughts and feelings, including them in every decision that I make along the way.

I am definitely being put through many tests of faith right now... thankfully I have a lot of encouragement and support from family and friends, along with an amazing group of women from my church... who have recently been a source of spiritual strength for me. I know that God will continue to guide us... as we continue to put our faith and trust in Him. I met this really incredible woman this past weekend while looking at an apartment who told me that she writes down things that she is anxious about, puts them into a special "God box", and then lets them go!

I know that, I too, need to take all of my worries and fears from the past and present, along with anxiety about the future... and release them up to God.

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I can not wait until the day that we are finally together. We are going to be married this summer. Our plan is to elope and spend time in Vegas together, and then have a celebration with family and friends when we return. Until then, we send cards and small gifts to one another (I have an incredible present being delivered to me very soon), talk on the phone for hours... and continue to pray and grow closer to one another while thousands of miles apart.

I am focusing on the present, looking forward to the future, and am so excited to see where this story leads us. :) I truly believe in the old saying, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder."

So happy to finally share this journey with you. Thank you for taking the time to come along with me...

Much love and many blessings,
Erin

Snow Angels (more winter images)

2010-02-25T07:48:00.000-08:00

So blue...

2010-02-06T20:29:00.000-08:00

Good evening my sweet friends,

It's Saturday night, my second eve without the boys... and although I enjoyed staying in out of the cold and catching up on "Brothers and Sisters" from Netflix last night, tonight I was really in the mood to go out. (I had been stuck in the house for a week and was beginning to go a little stir crazy.) So, earlier this eve J and I attempted to brave the cold to watch "The Book of Eli". But after tromping through the snow to the theater we found out that either the website show times were wrong, or J read them wrong. Disappointed, we tromped back down the street and tried to warm up with a decaf soy latte (me) and chai (him) at the coffee shop for a bit. We talked about religion, dating, love, etc. As difficult and awkward as it can still be at times, and although there are still some negative feelings between us that occasionally spill out, we are trying are best to hold onto our friendship and remain strong for our children. :) So, anyway... we decided not to wait around for the next showing and just headed back to the house instead.

I spent most of the day purging and packing again and thought I would finish where I left off this eve, but instead I plopped my bottom down on the couch with the other half of my Subway foot long from lunch that I saved, and ended up watching "ABDC" for an hour instead. J made plans with a friend to go have a drink, so I decided to enjoy another rare and quiet evening to myself, take a bath, and read old Domino magazines. Then spend some time in meditation and prayers, and even possibly do some yoga. It sounded like a good plan, and normally I absolutely love silence and time alone... but tonight as I let my tired body sink into the warm water, I'm not sure what set me off, but I just broke down and the tears started flowing...

Ha, okay... so that's actually my friend Michelle's bathtub, but I can dream, can't I?? :)

So, not a moment goes by that I don't think of Nolan. I miss him all the time. There are thousands of miles between us... and yet, we have such an incredibly strong connection that I always feel him close to me. The e-mails, phone calls, and texts help take the edge off a little bit as well. Usually I am so busy with the boys, homeschooling, housework, job hunting, packing & planning... that even though I feel him with me throughout the day, my time and energy is so filled up that I don't have time to dwell on how much it aches inside to be away from him. It has been 3 months since I was in Vegas and I still won't see him again until he comes back to visit in March. I just got off the phone with my best friend Jamie and her boyfriend, who are in Las Vegas right now and on their way to visit him at work. I am so badly wishing I were there as well. Even as I was talking to her about it, I got butterflies in my tummy just at the thought of seeing him again. :)

This evening as I had time to myself, I found myself letting go of all the emotions I have been trying to control. Long distance relationships are difficult. This waiting period has taught me an incredible amount of patience, along with an even stronger trust in God to help us through this time apart, as He continues to prepare us for our time together. Nolan is SO absolutely worth waiting for, and I know that soon we will be able to spend some much needed time together. But tonight, I just miss him so much. I want to be able to go out on a date with him, look into his gorgeous eyes, share a meal together, have a drink, kiss those scrumptious lips... hold him close to me, and breathe him in ever so deeply. Sigh...

I realize I am getting ahead of myself though. I had originally intended to write about how we know each other to begin with, how we "met" again, and how our relationship has evolved over time... along with details of my Vegas trip. But, instead, I just ended up going on and on about how much I miss him... ha!

Ah, oh well... obviously what needed to come out, just came... and it's been the same with him as well. Such a beautiful and organic process that unfolded so naturally. It's been a breath of fresh air, as everything between us flows so easily, and yet... it's painfully difficult being so far away from the person with whom you want to spend every moment for the rest of your life with. :)

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend.

Much love and hugs,
Erin

Sometimes
When eyes meet you know
They have to meet again
Sometimes
Birds of a feather
Got to fly together

From a dingy attic window
Candles shine
On a perfect table
Laid for two who love to dine
Now they drink the
Highly recommended wine
Free at last and feeling fine

I'm so glad
My fine young friend
Glad for you

I'm so glad
My fine young friend
Glad for you

You used to be so blue
You used to be so blue

Snowy weekend...

2010-02-05T11:14:00.000-08:00

Hello my lovey doves. I have been desperately wanting to start writing more often again and have not been able to find the time or energy. But, I promised my lovely and beautiful friend Chrissy that I would try to blog more often. ;)

So... it is Friday afternoon and I am watching last season's Project Runway re-runs as the snow keeps falling outside my window. My dad and step-mom drove 2 hours here this morning to get the boys for the weekend. We had made plans before we knew there was a snowstorm coming, so at first they drove halfway here and called to say they should maybe turn around and head back. The boys were SO disappointed, but then much to their happiness, my dad called back to say that they had already made it halfway and were just going to try to make it the rest of the way. I just got off the phone with them, the road is slick and they are having to drive very slowly, so I pray they make it home safely. Ugh, it's making me a nervous wreck!

Aside from that... the snow is so beautiful coming down and sticking to the row of pine trees alongside our house. We're supposed to get 6-10 inches this weekend. Thankfully I don't have any plans for the next couple of days other than going to church on Sunday to witness my close friend Kacy get baptized. :) For now though, I am happy to be warm and safe inside, curled up next to the space heater, under a throw blanket. I feel so very soft, sleepy, and day dreamy... I was thinking of taking a nap, but am worried it might disrupt my already messed up sleeping schedule. Or lack of it, I should say...

I have only been getting about 3-5 hours of sleep recently, as it seems in the evening after I lay down that my mind begins racing the most. So many changes are happening in my life and I have been really busy preparing. A lot of my time recently has gone to hours and hours of filling out online applications, as my desperate search for a job continues. Honestly, it is beginning to seem like a job itself. I am also continuing to finish homeschooling this year, as we thought it would be easier on the boys, compared to putting them in school here for half the year and then moving and having to put them through the process of changing schools yet again. But I have been trying for the past month or two to find a part-time weekend job, with hopes that I can transition back into full-time this summer/fall. Unfortunately, nobody seems to be hiring right now, so it is becoming a bit frustrating. I know that there has to be something out there for me, so I just keep on keeping on and having faith that God will open a door for me soon. :)

Besides that, I have been going through all of my stuff... trying to purge and organize and begin packing... once again! I still have several more months before moving, but time seems to be flying by and the more I can get done now, the less I have to worry about later. I am going to be downsizing quite a bit, so I am trying to figure out what to do with everything. I realized while going through all my belongings that I could practically open a small shabby chic boutique! It is going to be difficult to part with any of it, as it has taken me quite awhile to build up my Vintage-y collection. It all fits beautifully into my Victorian style home, but not sure how it's going to work in an apartment again... or how it's going to mesh with my new love's style, which is a bit more modern. Hmmm...

Oops, did I just accidentally spill a few beans? ;)

Ha, that's all I'm hinting at for now... but speaking of my magnificent man, I think a Las Vegas post is WAY overdue. Since I have a bit more time to myself this weekend, hopefully there will be more writing and photos to come very soon! I am also hoping to get caught up on reading some of your blog posts as well.

Btw, my dad just called and said they finally made it to their house. Whew, thank God... sigh of relief...

I pray that you are all healthy and happy.

Much love and hugs,

Erin

I have been listening to this song over and over...

While I was watching you did a slow dissolve
While I was watching you did a slow dissolve
While I was watching you did a slow dissolve

Did I imagine or do the walls have eyes
Did I imagine they held us hypnotized
Did I imagine or do the walls have eyes

Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Life in slow motion somehow it don’t feel real
Snowflakes are falling I'll catch them in my hands
Snowflakes are falling I'll catch them in my hands
Snowflakes are falling now you’re my long lost friend

Ohio winter daze photo stream...

2010-01-27T13:58:00.001-08:00

="0"

Apologies...

2010-01-14T16:30:00.000-08:00

Oh my sweet beloved friends,

I am sorry I have been away for so long! We finally made it through the divorce and have found closure and peace. I have been busy planning, praying, researching, and dreaming.... the future is wide open. I am beginning from scratch, starting a new. It is overwhelming and exhilarating. God has brought an amazing man into my life, and we are in the process of planning a future together. For now, I am continuing to home school the boys until fall, when I will return to work. I am re-evaluating my educational options as well, and might be headed in a different direction than I had originally planned... so, we will see! Oh, I have so much to share with you! :)

For now though I just wanted to wish you all a beautiful new year full of endless possibilities! More to come soon...

XOXO,

Resurrection

2009-12-02T09:06:00.000-08:00

I am finally starting to physically heal. I went back to the doctor yesterday after taking all of my antibiotics because I was still having ear pain. I found out that I also now have a sinus infection, which is the reason for the continued pain and pressure. I am now on my second dose of antibiotics. I also suffered through a 24 hour flu bug the other evening on top of everything else. Thankfully it seems to have passed and my lungs have mostly cleared up as well. I know so many people are struggling now with sickness and I pray healing for all of you who not feeling well... may God bring you strength and comfort.

Emotionally I am finally healing as well. I had a rough week... it was a time of mourning for me as I looked back upon 10 years of marriage. I feel it hit me a lot harder because I was so physically weak and at my most vulnerable. As I have said, to me it ended 3 years ago when we took off our rings. But we continued holding onto hope, holding on for our boys and for our family. The marriage was broken, but we were not free from the past completely. So, when the papers were finally signed, I felt a sudden rush of release. Someone close to me compared it recently to being told of an accident, a death... knowing it to be true and trying to come to terms with the fact, but it not completely sinking in until you are standing over the coffin... a flood of memories rushing back... the finality of it all sets in, and eventually acceptance comes.

I feel the need to clarify though that although I experienced a sort of "death", there was so much release and peace afterward. I went through what you could say was, a resurrection. I feel more fully alive than I have ever felt before. My senses are acute... my heart filled to the brim... I allowed myself to be emptied of the past, while taking with me so much wisdom as I move on. My faith has continued to strengthen as I spent several intimate days alone with God. I took much time asking for forgiveness, purging myself of sin, of guilt for mistakes that I have made in the past... and I have been able to release those things, become cleansed again, and given the chance to begin a new life... I feel emptied and yet completely filled with love, happiness, and an amazing sense of peace. Lord, it feels so good to be alive again! This coming new year is going to have such a significant meaning to me. :)

"I was born to laugh, I learned to laugh through my tears. I was born to love, I'm going to learn to love, without fear..."

Amazingly enough... through all these years of heartache and struggle and pain and emptiness... God has seen the desires of my heart. He has heard my cries through many dark days and nights... He knows exactly and perfectly what it is that I have desired for so long now. I am a bit hesitant to openly share this, but...

Slowly... ever so softly... and a bit unexpectedly...

A friendship of mine has recently unfolded into a beautiful new love. The thousands of miles that separate us are giving me the time and space I need to heal and transition... it is teaching me patience and giving me strength as I enter into this new season of my life. This time around I am going about things a bit differently.. I am letting go and allowing God to lead. Our relationship is centered around Him and we trust that everything will continue to unfold in His timing... in the meantime, we are continuing to build upon our friendship as we have committed ourselves to one another in a long-distance courtship. I never in a million years expected this, and yet it feels as though I have been preparing and waiting my entire life for him. I am so incredibly happy. :)

More soon...

XOXO, Erin

Heal for the Honey

2009-11-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

Oh my sweet friends, how long it has been since I have shared... I mean, really shared what's been going on in my day to day life. The process has been so chaotic, too much to put into words for me... I have needed time to process before sharing with you. I have finally reached a place where I feel comfortable opening up....

I had an upper respiratory infection for a couple weeks earlier this month and tried to fight it off with vitamins, homeopathic medicine, lots of fluids, etc. During that time I took a trip (more about that soon) and my ears were burning on the plane... I returned home and finally gave in and went to Urgent Care to find out that the bronchitis had progressed into pneumonia and that I also had a double ear infection. I was put on a breathing treatment immediately and given antibiotics and also a steroid treatment. It has been scary not being able to catch my breath even while laying still, and the pain in my lungs and ears at times were almost unbearable. They still hurt and I am still recovering.... I am doing a bit better, but may have to return to the doctor again this week for a second treatment.

The boys went to stay with my mom, and then my dad & step-mom over Thanksgiving and are returning tomorrow. J went to his mom's and then to stay with a "friend" (more on that later as well) for the weekend... So, I have been here by myself for the past couple of days.

The first day was difficult in the sense that I am so used to having people around me at all times. The silence was at times a bit unnerving, but eventually I gave into the quietness.. and attempted to come to terms with the idea that soon, I will be on my own again. I have been at home with the boys since our oldest was born. It has been over 7 years since I have worked out of the house. I have formed my own routines and they have become quite comfortable. It is going to take some time to adjust once I begin working again. I have also been struggling with the idea of having to go from being with my children all day long to the possibility of having to work two jobs and barely see them anymore... So,

I have also decided that I am going to go to school. I always felt that onc day I eventually would... before having children, while we were living in Nashville I bought a book called "Aveda Rituals". The book is not only just about their products, but an understanding of what the company stands for and a guide towards living a healthier and more balanced life. I was instantly smitten and knew that one day I wanted to work for this company. There is an Aveda school here that I just found out offers part-time evening and weekend classes that I could take and be finished in only 9 months. My hope is that I can get enough financial help that I will only have to work part-time and still be able to be home for my children after school. I have to wait now though for the divorce to be finalized before I can apply for assistance. I plan to study Esthiology, to become a Spa Therapist. I have found that touch can have such a healing effect. As a parent, I have often found it difficult to take time to myself to nurture and pamper my body. But stress... as I very well know, can lead to sickness... and it is so important to listen to your body and to take time to focus on your own needs. I love the idea of helping to teach people how to take care of their skin and to ease tension through massage, aromatherapy, and by living a balanced lifestyle. Although, I have to admit, it is something I am still learning myself... but I am excited about the process. :)

Yesterday was a completely different sort of day. I did not sleep at all the night before and after many fitful attempts of not being able to nap I gave into the frustrations, the irritations... and just began to release it all. I allowed myself to have a much needed and lengthy temper tantrum (yes, there was kicking and pillow punching, screaming, and growling... ) I allowed the darkness to sink in and just sit with me for a bit. I let the pain come... the tears flow... J stopped in briefly to check on me and we went together to finally sign our divorce papers. The divorce itself was something I have been preparing myself for quite a while now and came to terms with many years ago. What I did not see coming was the flood of memories and emotions that would hit me once the cycle was permanently broken. I had not been out of the house for over a week, having been sick.. and so as I attempted to get myself dressed and ready to go, anxiety suddenly hit me hard. I managed to pull myself together enough, but my hands were shaking the entire time I was signing. I felt like I was either going to pass out or throw up as 10 years of memories began passing through my mind all at once. It was overwhelming, to say the very least. Last night I took time to look through some old photos throughout the years and spent a lot of time in prayer... trying to let go of all the bad, while still holding onto the good. Two beautiful and healthy boys have come from this marriage and I have learned and grown so much through the process... but 10 years is a large chunk of time and I know there is still more healing to come...

Part of why the divorce process has been taking awhile is because of the costs involved. Recently we had to come up with quite a bit of money for the divorce, but also to have our car fixed, only for something else to immediately go wrong with it. On top of that, the Holidays are here and I have been stressing out about having enough money for groceries, let alone presents, etc. But the other night while praying.. I lifted it all up to God. For my Father in Heaven is rich... He is loving and giving... and all we have to do is ask. So, I allowed myself to let go of all control, and asked Him for financial help. The very next day He answered my prayers. The boys' presents, the car battery, the unexpected extra divorce fees.. have ALL been taken care of! I pray blessings over J's mom, who.. without our asking.. relieved us, through the grace and goodness of God, of all our worries!

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Finally, last night... although I had difficulty falling asleep.. I finally sank into a deep slumber. I awoke this morning feeling emotionally drained, but rested and renewed. The sun was shining, I brewed some espresso, listened to this song...

And suddenly, I felt so incredibly full! Even in my deepest darkest hours, I know that I am never ALONE. A wise and beautiful man just told me, "Faith is hope set in motion." And I am holding onto those words....

I have so much to be thankful for... including all of your love and prayers... your encouraging words mean the world to me. Thank you for giving me the time and patience I have needed to get through this time period. It is going to be an ongoing journey and healing process, but knowing that I am surrounded by family and friends, and through the strength and by the grace of God, I am finally free of the past.. of the heartache and pain and emptiness... and I will take what I have learned now and continue to move forward. So much good awaits! :) More to come soon.....

I love you all so much.

Blessings, love, and hugs...

Erin

In this silence I am free...

2009-11-21T15:43:00.000-08:00

"Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown"
-Author Unknown

"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it knows and loves the one who is leading" -Oswald Chambers

Thank you all for your encouraging words, love and prayers. :)

Blessings,
Erin

Don't worry, I'm still alive!

2009-11-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone.. sorry to keep you waiting in suspense. Thank you for all of your concerns and prayers, they mean a lot to me. Knowing I have the support and love of people I have never met simply blows my mind. :)

So, after a long and difficult ten year battle (aka; marriage) and quite a few separations over the years, J and I finally filed for divorce.

Our lease here is not up for another 7 months and we will continue living together as "roommates" as we have been until that time comes. It will give the boys and I a chance to adjust and prepare for the enormous amount of change that is to come. Our oldest was upset at first, but they have seen us go through this for some time now, and were caught in the middle of a several month long separation a few years ago, so it did not come entirely by surprise to them.

He and I were friends for many years before we dated and married, and we will continue to remain close friends, connected always through our children. It was a mutual agreement, something that should maybe have been reached long before now. But we held on to hope and tried our hardest for years to keep our family together. We finally reached our limit though and are now just waiting for the process to be complete so we can move on with our separate lives.

There is a great amount of peace between us as this heavy weight we have been carrying around for so long now has finally been broken and lifted. It is through the strength and love of God that I have made it through this difficult time.. and I have faith that He will continue to guide me as I embark upon this new journey.

It has to end to begin. :)

Thank you again,

I love you all and will keep you posted..

Erin

Blogging hiatus

2009-10-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone.. just wanted you all to know that I am going through some personal things right now that I don't feel quite ready to write about, so I just need a bit of time to myself to process everything. I will be back soon.

Much love,
Erin

Parables and preparation

2009-10-02T12:12:00.000-07:00

The weather has become cold and rainy.. this week we began to prepare for winter by having our radiators prepped, the boiler lit, and the attic vent insulated. Next week I have someone coming over to clean out the wood burning stove in out kitchen and show me how to build a proper fire. Large old houses require lots of winter preparation.. unless of course you want your utility bills to go through the roof. I have also continued stocking up on warm clothing and blankets and still need to buy a couple of space heaters. We have been inside more this week and the boys have been spending lots of time reading and writing. We have checked out many books from the library and have been studying the Parables of Jesus and comparing how those stories relate to our own lives. There has also been lots of bed jumping, lego building, piano playing, and Star Wars collage making..

Already I can feel the cold beginning to creep beneath my skin.. and have been daydreaming of traveling to warmer places. It has been chilly at night and I have found myself wrestling once again with insomnia. It is only in the late hours of the night that I can finally find some peace and quiet, some time to myself.. and yet, once my mind starts going I have difficulty getting it to stop. There is so much I have been wanting to write.. more of myself I want to share, but I can't seem to find enough time. I have been continuing "soul searching".. praying, writing, listening to music. I started re-reading a book that I bought almost 10 years ago while living in Nashville that I have never finished, "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis. It has brought back many memories from that time in my life.. and I find it interesting (but not surprising) that parts of the book I didn't understand back then, make perfect sense to me now. I have grown and changed so much since those days.. although many things I knew then have been lost over time and I find myself trying to get back to the beginning again. To remember where I came from.. where I've been.. so that I can take that knowledge and experience with me as I continue on this journey. Emotionally and physically it has been a draining week for me.. anxiety has been trying to take hold. My future suddenly seems uncertain, as I prepare to make some changes in the coming months ahead.

I apologize for being so vague, but running on only a few hours of sleep last night my mind feels slow and numb. Spiritually though I feel more awake than I have ever felt inside.. and I must keep reminding myself that over time this Season too shall pass. (Mathew 6: 25-34)

Eventually we all move on and become scattered about..

May your weekend be filled with new doors just waiting to be opened and explored..

XOXO, Erin

Corner View "White"

2009-09-29T21:02:00.001-07:00

This week's Corner View topic is "White". I found myself this past week seeing small white details in things I may have ordinarily missed. I also threw in a few extra "white photos" that I have recently taken. To explore other Corner Views, visit Jane at Spain daily for a list of other participants. Enjoy!

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XOXO, Erin

You picked me. : )

2009-09-28T16:01:00.000-07:00

Awww, I feel completely flattered to me nominated for not only one, but two amazing blog awards today by two extremely gorgeous and creative women. Thank you!

The first was from Penny who ever so kindly passed along an Honest Scrap Award to me. And here I was, all worried about sharing TMI. :)

So, here we go.. the rules are as followed below..

a) Say thanks and give a link to the presenter of the award.
b) Share "10 Honest Things" about myself.
c) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.
d) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these
guidelines in receiving.

Hmm, now I have to figure out what to share with you that I haven't already!

10 Honest things about myself:

1) I am wearing socks with textured slip-proof suction cup-like things on the bottom.

2) I am extremely accident prone and in one year alone had 2 concussions, 1 falling down the stairs, 1 slight electrocution, and it seems like there is something else I am forgetting.. (probably a result of the concussions.)

3) As klutzy as I am, I have always dreamed of being a ballet dancer, who can on occasion, and if needed.. break out some amazing hip hop moves.

4) I have seen "Save the Last Dance" more times than any other movie.

5) Dry skin bothers me in the same way that finger nails on the chalkboard does other people. I put lotion on my feet before putting on my suction cup socks.

7) I have not started my ballet conditioning workout yet, but hope to before this week is over.

8) My first love was African American, probably another reason why I relate to that movie so much.

9) I don't believe that there is one person for all of us. I think that love comes in many different forms and that we can have many true loves throughout our lifetime.

10) I have attempted to read C.S. Lewis' book "The Four Loves" many times and have never been able to finish it. I might try again..

I am sharing this award with the following 7 honest bloggers..

Kacy
Jane
Chrissy
Amy
Alana
Wendy
Lori

The second award (as if one weren't enough!) came from the lovely Jennifer Aniston.. er.. I mean, Megs. who passed along a Creative Blogger Award to me. :)

Okay, you know the drill..

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreative Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated

And AS IF you already haven't learned enough about me, here's a little more!

7 Things that people might not know about me:

1) I have crooked teeth, you wouldn't know because I NEVER smile with my teeth. I had braces when I was younger, but they seem to have shifted back again.

2) Sia is my favorite female musician. She has teeth just like mine.

3) I am so flat-chested that the only place I can find bras in my side is in the girls department (and sometimes H&M). I used to dislike this about myself, but then I read an interview with Erykah Badu once in "Organic Style" magazine saying that she buy hers in the the girls section of Sears and didn't seem the least bit embarrassed by it. I have felt slightly better about myself ever since.

4) I desperately miss "Organic Style" magazine. I have kept all my old issues and re-read them over and over. There will never be another magazine that compares.

5) I am also still in denial that "Gilmore Girls" has ended and watch the reruns on DVD over and over. There will never be another show that compares.

6) If I could have any job in the world it would be to create music soundtracks for television shows and movies.

7) I believe that I am the clay and God is the sculptor. I try daily to be open to change and growth.. as painful of a process as it may sometimes be. "Like an apple on the tree, hiding out behind the leaves, I was difficult to reach.. but you picked me."

And now, I would like to pass along this award to the following 7 creative bloggers..

Haley
Sherry
dongdong
Lisa
Marcy
Mimi
Pink & green mama

I would also like to give an extra one to my lovely and loyal blog follower, Madeline

That was so difficult! Each and every one of you are so beautifully unique and creative! And I don't know about you but.. was that as exhausting to read as it was for me to write?? Ha, I've been staring at the computer for so long now that I am beginning to go cross-eyed. Whew, lets just all close our eyes and listen to some music now. :)

Every time I hear this song, I sing along with it to God. :) Don't you think she looks so much like the beautiful and pregnant Yana?

XOXO, Erin

Weekend photo stream...

2009-09-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

The rain stopped long enough to be able to get a bit of fresh air and exercise this weekend. It's such a beautiful time of year to wander around, explore nature, and just let your imagination run wild.. I thought I would give you a glimpse into my weekend by sharing some photos I took. Hope you enjoy!

Hope you all had a fun and restful weekend as well. :)

Love the skin you're in.

2009-09-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

Before you begin reading, I must tell you that this was one of the most difficult posts I have written yet. I seriously thought about deleting the entire thing. I feel it is important though for me to share this part of myself with you, so I am going to be brave now and hit publish. Please me gentle on me with your responses.. and no, this is not an Oil of Olay ad campaign. :)

So.. I was out walking with a friend around campus last night taking photos and I starting talking about how I had never gone to college and how part of me regretted missing out on that experience, but the other part of me was happy to have gained "real life" knowledge at an early age. I was sharing how I felt as though I had gone to art school because I had spent so much time there with friends who were attending and also had a job there for awhile.. as a model for figure drawing classes.. then suddenly feeling embarrassed, I purposely left out one minor detail and quickly changed the subject.

Later after I got home that night I started thinking back to how self confident I had been when I was younger and how comfortable and unashamed I was in my own skin. I remember in one of the classes I had to make whatever face emotion the teacher said. I ended up not being invited back to that class because the other model and I kept getting a case of the giggles. I realized quickly that theater was not for me. As dramatic as I can be at times, getting in in out of character quickly does not come easily to me. I mostly did.. ahem, brace yourself.. nude modeling. It was actually quite easy. I would usually lay on my side and often fall asleep to the warmth of the space heater the teacher provided so I would not become chilled. Although admittedly it was a bit awkward at first, I just reminded myself that it was not my body as a whole that the art students were looking at, but the different curves and shadows, the light and angles. I loved the idea that I, with all my beautiful flaws, had become a piece of living art. And then much later in life I began to accept and embrace and the idea that God created me.. in the image of Himself.. and that I am wonderfully and magnificently made.

As I have grown older my insecurities have begun to surface though.. not long ago we were at the lake and I asked J to throw away some apple cores because I didn't want to walk across the sand in my bathing suit to the trash can. Over time I have grown less comfortable in my own skin, even though I have been wearing it longer. It doesn't make much sense to me. I think back to those times in my life that I just spoke of and think to myself, there is no way in the world I could ever do that now. Although I feel more confident in who I am as a person on the inside, I have become very insecure with my exterior self. On top of that, I just don't physically feel so good these days. I wake up achy most mornings and never feel entirely rested no matter how much sleep I get. In turn, my physical exhaustion and pain has begun to affect me both emotionally and spiritually as well.

So, I have decided to try to figure out what is going on with me. I know that part of it is just pure laziness. And part of it is the fact that it is easy to lose yourself as an individual woman once you become a wife and especially a mother. It's easy to forget about yourself when you're suddenly always putting other people first and you can barely remember to to eat and sleep, let alone exercise and take time to relax and breathe. I have become aware of the increasingly dark circles beneath my eyes and the wrinkles around the outer edges. I notice that my energy is not what it used to be and I get tired during the day so much more easily. I feel my patience running thin and my spiritual relationship with God suffering as a result.

I have decided to take time more often to just simply notice myself. I mean, really take a good long look at what I need as a person internally, so that it will shine through to the outside. I took some self portraits as a way to look at myself in a new and different light. I have started doing yoga again twice daily, and am planning to start a ballet conditioning workout along with weight lifting next week. I have made an attempt to go to bed earlier in the evening, drink more water throughout the day, and get more fresh air by taking walks more often. I have been trying to get myself to open up to people more about what I'm going through, to be more honest with myself, to write what I'm feeling so that it doesn't build up and explode inside of me or outwardly onto those around me. More than anything else though I have tried to allow myself to slow down.. to breath, and to listen to what my body, my mind, and my heart have been trying to tell me for so long now.. "Please take care of yourself."

Now I know this might sound a bit silly and embarrassing, but this evening while J took the boys to the movies, I took some time to myself to do some soul searching.. in the mirror, with my camera. Now before your mind starts going off in some weird direction, just hear me out..

When was the last time you took a look at yourself in the mirror? I don't just mean in the morning when you're putting make-up on, fixing your hair, or getting dressed. I mean REALLY looked DEEPLY at yourself? If you haven't.. I dare you to now! Lock the bathroom or bedroom door if you have to and if anyone asks what you're doing, tell them you're "looking for something you lost."

Strip down of all your clothes or put on a bathing suit, wash your face, take a photo of yourself.. notice the lines and circles, the shadows and freckles. Now put on blush and lip gloss, don't cover up your face, but highlight your favorite features and take another photo. Pull your hair back, then let it down. Make silly faces, now serious, then surprised. Look at yourself from different angles. Now, try to think outside of yourself.. as if you are someone else seeing "you" for the first time. What features do you notice right away? What's going on behind your eyes? Allow yourself to focus in on your flaws, but not dwell on them. Take photos of different parts of your body that are often overlooked.. your shoulders, ears, elbows, and toes. You can even take it a step further and make small sketches of yourself while looking in the mirror or from one of the photos you have taken. Take time to embrace the beautiful and unique creature you see in front of you and love the skin you're in. :)

I was hesitant to add the self portraits I took, but feel like if I truly want to start being honest with who I am and become comfortable again in my own skin, then I have to release myself of all fears and insecurities and stop worrying about what other people might think of me. Now stop scrutinizing me and go take your own! :)

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

XOXO, Erin

Yoga and Suzuki

2009-09-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

To be honest, we didn't do a lot this past week.. it rained almost every day and I didn't have too many indoor activities planned, so we just sorta went with the flow. The boys colored South African flags and spent a lot of time working in their workbooks. We did yoga together along with a DVD called "The Peddler's Dream", which teaches children yoga through story telling. The story in the video tells of a man who follows his dream, which ultimately leads him back to a treasure chest beneath a tree outside of his home. We talked about the treasures that lay within our hearts and the boys colored pictures of treasure chests then surrounded them with images of things they love. 'A' drew a piano, friends and family, ice cream, and Star Wars. 'E' drew a picture of us all eating a giant muffin filled with treasure, an alien spaceship, and me wearing a beautiful dress and superhero cape.. ha! They also started group Suzuki piano lessons this past week. I was very proud at how well they both did. 'A' especially has taken to it quickly and has been practicing diligently every day since. I took Suzuki when I was young, so it's neat to see them playing now. We are blessed that our landlord left us her gorgeous piano and recently had it tuned for us, and I am hoping to pick up piano again along with them.

We were hoping to go to the fair today, but it's been raining again all day. J decided to work some overtime, so the boys and I are on our own again today and have just been lounging around. I need to try to get caught up on some housework (even though I feel like that's all I did this past week), but the rain is causing me to feel sleepy and unmotivated, so I might just spend the afternoon daydreaming instead..

Hope you all have a good weekend. :)

Modest Mouse- Little Motel

2009-09-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

Since everyone was so kind to send sweet words and healing suggestions my way the other day, I thought I would update you on my health. Well, the Mucinex and juice cleanse seems to be working in the sense that it is flushing everything out of me, meaning I have gone through several boxes of tissues in the past several days and have coughed up seemingly abnormal amounts of phlem (sexy, huh?) Why is it though that once you finally start to heal from one aversion, something else comes along to knock you off your feet? Just as I was starting to feel as though I was beginning to recover, I woke up this morning to excruciating (boys, cover your ears..) girl cramps.. ugh!!

Anyway.. since I have been feeling under the weather I haven't bothered to get dressed and have spent the past week or so in pajamas pants, teeny camisoles, and over-sized sweat shirts. So, yesterday I threw some tennis shoes on to go along with my lovely ensemble and snuck outside to snap some quick photos of the flowers after the rain. Of course I assumed that everyone was either working or at school and that I was safe.. until my neighbor/friend decided (what I'm assuming was) to take a lunch break at his house and drove by waving. I quickly waved back (or shooed him away with my hand, however you want to look at it..) and sprinted back into the house.

So then, last night I sent our landlord an e-mail telling her about the raccoons in our garage. Yes, raccoons! I know this because they ate through a huge bag of bird food we had stored in there, and also because I sweep up their dirty little footprints every morning leading from the garage door across our porch. (As I'm writing this, I just watched a giant groundhog run across the patio. I'm blaming him for the frog being knocked into the lily pond every day. And the squirrels for getting into the bird feeder. The animals in our neighborhood are all out of control.) Anyway, back to the story.. Well, I didn't check my e-mail this morning to read that she was sending someone over this afternoon to set up a trap in the garage. So, he shows up and I'm in my floral pajama bottoms and practically sheer cami. There was no time to go throw something else on because I would have had to run past the (glass) door up the stairs and it was too late because he already saw me. So, I'm standing in the doorway trying to cover myself up and quickly warned him to stay very far away from me because I am very sick. Pretty sure those were my exact words. He explained the trapping procedure and assured me that he would not kill the raccoons, that he would come back each morning to see if the "hotel had any guests" and then release the "guest" into the wild. Unless of course I noticed them coming out in the day time which would mean something is wrong with them and he would have to take other measures, in which he would be sure not to share the details with me. The entire time I all I could think was how badly I wanted to put on some clothes and hide. He made sure to let me know that he would not come to the door in the morning, but would honk his horn 3 times to alert me of his arrival and then proceed to the garage to check on the "little motel".

Oh, and speaking of modesty.. and to other moms in particular.. do your kids and husbands just burst into the bathroom without knocking? Last night I was in the bathtub praying (because.. yes, that's where I tend to hear God the clearest) and the 3 of them just come barging in all at once to brush their teeth. Um, Hello?! After I complained about the lack of privacy in our house, J decided to knock very loudly and with much exaggeration each time he entered the room after that. What's funny to me is that my boys are both very private. If they're going to the bathroom E will make sure to say "Nobody look!" and then very rudely shut the door in your face. Or if I'm reading in the bath and one of them needs to use the bathroom, they will make sure to shut the shower curtain so I can't see them. Yet when it comes to my privacy, nobody seems to notice or care!

Honestly though, I don't know when I became such a modest mouse. We live in a college town where many of the students walk around in their pajama bottoms, and I get embarrassed when answering the door in mine? Maybe it has more to do with the fact that I worry people think I am just too lazy to get dressed and that makes me look unproductive? Whatever the reason, I've decided to post a photo of me in my rose jammies along with my flower photos as a way to help get over my insecurities. "Hello world! Here I am in my pajamas!" There, I just screamed it from the rooftop for all of the neighborhood animals to hear.

But you know, as frustrating as it is sometimes to rarely have any peaceful private moments to myself.. I know one day when my boys are all grown up, I will miss those things about them. They will maybe go off to college themselves and I will be left alone with the whole quiet house all to myself. And I will yearn for one of them to burst through the bathroom door to tell me excitedly that daddy bought them pancakes with Star Trek guy pictures on them at the store. I will miss the push and shove fighting at the sink because one of them needs to spit their toothpaste out and the other needs a drink of water at the same exact time. And it makes me break down in tears to think of the quiet emptiness my life would be without them..

So, I thank God for every living breathing noise they make and for the fighting and the outbursts and the lack of privacy.

Please press the stop button on my other music and listen and watch this video all the way through.. I think it's important to occasionally remind ourselves of the blessings we have so we don't take them for granted. I say this as my youngest is throwing a tantrum on the floor next to me because he wants a clone trooper mask for Halloween, even though we just bought him a brand new knight outfit with his birthday money, along with a ninja turtle costume at the thrift store last weekend. This is exactly why I need daily reminders.

I wrote the first part of this post yesterday and as I'm finishing now, a car horn just honked 3 times outside my window. :)

XOXO, Erin

Hmm..

2009-09-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, not sure why my blogs posted in opposite order.. but just scroll down past the "Goodbye Summer" post to see this week's "Corner View". Looks like some of you already have.. thanks! :)

Goodbye summer : (

2009-09-22T05:51:00.000-07:00

Corner View: Double Post!

2009-09-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

My head was a bit foggy last week and I forgot about Corner View, so I am doing a double post this week. For those of you just now joining me here, "Corner View" was started by the lovely Jane at Spain Daily and each Wednesday we are given a different topic to write about. It's such an amazing way to get to know people from all over the world and see how they live. If you go to her blog there is a list of all participants. I urge you to take the time to explore other Corner Views! :)

This past Wednesday's topic was "September". Here in Ohio the weather is beginning to cool down a bit and the leaves are starting to change colors. We are outside every minute we have the chance, trying to soak up the last remaining warm days as we sadly wave goodbye to summer and warmly welcome Autumn into our homes. September in our town is filled with the sights, sounds, and smells of the fair, horse races at the track, speed boat races on the lake, baseball games at the park, and growing up there was always a football game on tv. It is a time of pumpkin picking, corn mazes, and hayrides. I begin to gather nesting materials from thrift stores, piles and piles of warm clothing.. over-sized hoodies, flannel pj's, and thermal shirts. Afternoons are spent eating lots of grilled cheese, tomato soup, warm pita bread, hummus, and my favorite fall treat.. honeycrisp apples. It is eating dinner by candlelight and lingering at the table over coffee and conversation, or quiet unspoken relaxation. Evenings are spent snuggled up under quilts watching movies and reading favorite books together. It is also a time to remember September 11 and to lift up a silent prayer to the families of those who lost loved ones as a result. Hope you will join me here and linger for a bit yourself..

Still with me here? This week's topic is "Out your car window". We took a more scenic way home from the park the other day and I was able to capture some photos along the way.. although some of the images are blurred as an obvious result of being in a moving vehicle. I kept asking J to slow down, but the car behind us seemed to be in quite a hurry. What ever happened to being able to take a leisurely country drive? Anyway.. roll your window down, put your feet up, and enjoy the ride! :)

Oh, and one last thing before you leave..

Thanks for joining me. :)

XOXO, Erin

School, Sniffles, & Sunshine

2009-09-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

Last week I began to feel a head/chest cold coming on, but just as I thought it was going to pass, it hit me full force this week. And then E caught the sneezies and runny nose too. As a result, we had somewhat of a hazy lazy week. Thankfully, J just ordered Netflix, so I was able to stream some education films that go along with what we've been studying. We continued watching "Meerkat Manor" and also found a film about coral reefs. The boys spent some time each day working on writing and reading and did some nature study and sketches. We also enjoyed looking through our South Africa books. For the most part though the boys just played, played, and played some more, while I tried to rest and take it easy. We also spent a lot of time in the backyard soaking up the last of the summer rays, and enjoyed the gorgeous weather we had in abundance this week! I am looking forward to "Family Film Night" this evening, which we are going to try to incorporate back into our lives again now that the nights are becoming cooler. On the menu this evening is "Swiss Family Robinson".

I am also hoping to catch up on a lot of much needed sleep this weekend. :) I am still trying to find a good balance between homeschooling and housework and am finding myself to be completely exhausted by the end of the week. My poor immune system has been trying to work overtime. I realize that I need to start slowing down a bit and taking better care of myself, so that I can try to prevent sickness before it actually happens. Easier said than done when you're a busy mom though!

I personally can not take cold medicine. It makes me feel completely whacked out. Like I'm on speed, but in a sleepy trance at the same time. In my opinion, the best way to fight off a cold is by using natural remedies in combination with Mucinex. ;) Below is my prescription for feeling better quickly..

Plenty of sunshine, fresh air, rest, and relaxation..

Fresh healthy food and LOTS of orange juice and water. Espresso and Rice Dream. Eh.. or maybe not. :) And exercise (in light moderation).. It was so sweet of the boys to leave me a small section of the rug to do yoga on this morning, wasn't it?

Does anyone have any other good remedies or preventative suggestions to add to my list? I would love to hear what helps you to feel better!

Also, "Corner View" started back up this week and it completely slipped my mind, so I plan to do a double post next Wednesday. Hope you are all doing well and that you have a fun and relaxing weekend!

I'll keep my X's and O's to myself this week so I don't pass along my germs to you, Erin

Farewell Australia.. Hello South Africa!

2009-09-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

The boys have decided that they have had their fill of Australia and are now interested in South Africa after borrowing (and becoming slightly addicted to) "Meerkat Manor" from the library. We just got home from story time after returning our Australia books and picking up our South Africa reserves. Thus begins a new study starting tomorrow. :)

We ended.. and began our new travels with a trip to the zoo this past weekend. I took a million photos but am only posting the Australia ones for now. I couldn't believe how close we were able to get to the kangaroos. There was nothing but a very low, very easy to jump over fence between us and them. I could have spent the entire afternoon watching them hop around. E loved the koala, which from a distance looks sweet and cuddly enough, but I'm sure it could easily tear someone apart with those fierce claws. We also went into a room full of colorful birds that were flying around somewhat haphazardly. I think they had a little too much nectar to drink. One almost took this girl's head off while we were trying to make a run for the exit. :)

Okay, so I wasn't going to include any extra photos.. but I just have to share this adorable baby elephant with you. Awww.. so cute!

Oh, and if you haven't seen "Meerkat Manor" you have to check it out! And if you just happen to have a ton of money you have been wanting to donate, you can even go on a real life expedition to visit them here.

Btw.. can you tell I finally figured out how to add links to my page? So easy and yet it only took me what.. a year? Ha!

And on a lighter note...

2009-09-10T15:24:00.000-07:00

Some images from E's birthday party last weekend... I'm mostly posting these for Pawpaw and Lexi who weren't able to come and also for my brother and Lindsey who live too far away. :( Speaking of.. Happy Birthday Nathan!!!

It was such a noisy blur to me, hopefully everyone had a good time! :)

Birthday boy

Tired papa

One-legged mama

The Summer Kitchen

2009-09-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

I meant to write this post several days ago, but other thoughts seemed to have made their way out of me instead. It's morning, we're still in our pj's and the boys are at the table beside me making Lego spaceships. I'm drinking espresso and trying to focus. I used to make the excuse that with kids I didn't have the time to write, and the truth is.. I don't. The only quiet time I have to myself is after they are in bed and by then all of my thoughts have either escaped me or fallen asleep. So I just write here and there whenever I can find the time, even if it means having a 4 year old sitting on my lap or having to stop several times to "Mom, look at what I made!" or "Can I have a snack?" Yes, it's difficult to stay in the writing "flow", but these days I take whatever time I can get.. even if that just means 15 minutes while they are eating cereal or play legos. Although I tend to have more difficulty writing in the evening, I can easily spend hours after they have fallen asleep devouring a good book in the bathtub. The most recent one being, "The Summer Kitchen" by Lisa Wingate.

The other day I was updating my profile on here and decided to delete my interest in cooking and starting a food "ministry". After a couple years of suffering with food allergies and having incredible difficulty finding meals that i can make, my passion has slowly dwindled down to the point where cooking almost feels like a chore. Each day I struggle to find enough food that I can eat and find myself making the same things over and over again to the point of boredom. With my enthusiasm at such a low I wondered to myself how I could possibly help encourage others to eat healthy. I have read many books in the past about people who either can't afford nutritious foods, don't have access to them, or both. They are left with the options of eating fast food or inexpensive junk food from gas station convenient stores. As a result their health often declines as they struggle with obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. In many poorer areas this issue has been dealt with by providing soup kitchens and food pantries. And although I applaud the effort involved, to me I feel it may also create a cycle of dependence. I would think that people would begin to rely on these places for survival. So, how do we provide food and help for those in need while allowing them to become a part of the solution?

I found some answers several months ago when I came across the book, "Bridging the Food Gap" and discovered the idea of bringing traveling farmers markets at a small cost to people who don't normally have money or access to fresh organic produce. Some of these farmers even went a step further by offering to let people visit their farm to see how their food is produced, along with cooking classes to teach them how to prepare these fresh foods in their own homes. This idea really struck a chord within me. It makes perfect sense to me, the idea of helping people by arming them with knowledge. Another idea that goes along with this concept is the idea of urban community gardens. It gives people a sense of pride to feel that they have accomplished something on their own and they are able to reap the benefits as a result. It also gives neighbors a chance to come together and help one another. I'm sure that many people who are poor and struggle to provide food for themselves and their families feel a sense of insecurity and almost embarrassment towards having to depend on others for help. What else can we do to help to bridge the food gap?

"The Summer Kitchen" is a fiction story about a women who after befriending a young teenage orphan and giving away a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches suddenly finds herself drawn into a community in need and discovers who she is in return. I found out that the idea for the story came from a place called, "The Gospel Cafe" in Waco, Texas. 3 women bought an old Victorian home that was formerly a crackhouse and transformed it into a restaurant to feed anyone, regardless of whether they can pay or not. What I love most about it is that unlike a soup kitchen, it doesn't just serve hungry and homeless people. ALL are welcome and so it provides a place where people can come together from all walks of life and share a meal. They also have gone out of their way to make the environment feel as comfortable as possible, with tablecloths on the tables and meals served on real plates. I think that those small little details would help to make someone feel included, important, and equal to others. There is no division there as people come together to partake in a meal. To me, this is as authentic as communion gets.

Although "The Olive Tree Community" has become a blog for me, many many years ago it was an entirely different concept that has evolved over time. About 10 years ago I felt a pressing on me to eventually start a cafe of sorts called "The Waiting Room". The idea being very similar to the idea behind "The Gospel Cafe". The name came from the "Sixpence None the Richer" song, along with the concept of sitting in a doctors waiting room with strangers whom you wouldn't normally find yourself in such close proximity to. It's funny how unless there are not any other seats available, we always leave at least one chair between ourselves and the other waiting patients. Are we worried we might catch what they have? Aren't we all there for the same reason? Instead of making friendly eye contact and striking up conversation, we stare at the magazines in our laps, the clock on the wall, yearning for our turn to come so we can get out of this awkward room we've been forced into sharing with strangers and into a smaller one where we can wait alone. Why are we so shut off from one another? And how do we break down those protective barriers that continue to divide us?

I know I have brought up some heavy topics, but these thoughts and ideas have been re-stirring in my soul so strongly recently that I can no longer ignore them. I'm curious to hear about your feelings on the subjects I have mentioned and am wondering.. When do you feel most connected to others? Please feel free to share in response!

Blessings and peace, Erin

Overcome

2009-09-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

After writing my last post I came to realize how much I need to use this space again as a place to share what's going on inside of me. I began thinking back to my original purpose for this blog, which was to create a safe environment where I could be myself, while inviting others to join me at the table. A place where we could openly share our thoughts, feelings, dreams, visions, and inspirations. I am still going to continue documenting our homeschooling days once a week, but the rest of the time I would like to re-focus on what it is that moves me, to share with you experiences that have challenged my heart and have helped me to grow. I hope you will continue to walk with me on this journey..

So, let's start at the beginning. I'm going to share some scripture verses to help understand where the name of my blog, "The Olive Tree Community" originated. I consider myself to be a wanderer, a nomad of sorts, never quite sure where my home is, and not sure that it even matters, considering I think of the Earth as only a temporary dwelling anyway. With all that being said, I find myself spiritually and emotionally drawn to trees. The olive tree in particular. After the flood, it was an olive tree branch that the dove brought back to Noah.. and it astounds me that something could be so solid and rooted that it could withstand such an incredible natural disaster. I yearn to have that amount of strength, and yet I recognize how weak and easily moved I am. It's within those broken crumbling disastrous meltdowns though that I feel the strength of God rooted deeply within me the most. I am able to melt into those protective loving arms and feel safe from the storm. I am reminded that no matter how far off I wander there is always a safe place I can return to when I need shelter. I believe that when we allow ourselves to be humble, to shed those layers of protection, and allow God and others to see all of our cracks, flaws, and open wounds that we are in turn restored, renewed, healed.. all the pain and heartache washed away by holy water. Our feet are set upon a firm foundation once again.

I believe that God speaks to us in ways that we might not understand and not always in the places where we expect to find him. For example, I have not been able to focus in church recently, but it is in the late evening hours of time spent reading in the bathtub that I hear God's voice more clearly than ever. Many times it is also when I'm wandering around taking photographs or sitting on the porch swing early in the morning and I can feel His presence alongside of me..

I'm sure we all have our different beliefs, but I am curious to know where and when you feel most at peace, most fully alive, and most completely in tune and aware that there is something so far beyond our understanding and at the same time closer to our hearts than anything else? I would love to hear about your own personal sacred places.. whether it be out in the world or deep within your soul.

Love and blessings,
Erin

Foundations

2009-09-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to confess that my enthusiasm towards life has not been at it's highest lately. For any of you who have read my blog from the beginning you might have noticed the gradual shift I have made in my writing. The blogs I write now are filled less with words and more with pictures. I got to a place where I felt afraid of my vulnerability. I was worried that I was exposing too much of myself and so I began to hold back and close off. As a result, without the outlet of writing I began to feel bottled up inside and have been distracted by an aching emptiness. I have been feeding the yearnings with everyday business and activity. My focus has been on homeschooling and housekeeping. I have been spending my days cleaning and crafting, drifting and wandering.. mostly around town on foot with my camera in hand. Taking photographs of other people's homes.. curious as to what lies behind those closed doors and glass windows. Wondering what secrets they hold.. or if any of those people inside ever wonder about me. What do they dream about and long for in those rooms alone with their own thoughts?

We have moved a total of 11 times in 9 years. I lost all interest in my neighbors lives long ago, knowing inside that more than likely we would soon move again. What was the point of growing close to people who would soon be nothing more than left behind memories? After awhile you begin to grow numb and shut yourself off from the outside world. Yet, recently something has begun to change inside me. At some point I became aware of my vulnerabilities and insecurities. I started to realize how truly lonely I am and came to terms with the fact that I can't take on everything by myself all the time. I came to accept the idea that I need friends and support and that it's okay to reach out once in awhile for help. It doesn't mean that I'm weak. But it has been a struggle.. humbling myself, opening up my wounds, allowing strangers into my life. At the same time it has made me more and more curious about the lives of others. It seems that the more I share, the more they share in return, and that feeling of connection to others, to a community of individuals, is simply amazing to me. I am suddenly aware that we all have our own different struggles and hopes and desires and that I am not alone in this world. I am not alone.

I can't tell you why we have moved around so much. Sometimes it was because we needed more space, a bigger yard, better school districts, cleaner parks.. etc. But to be honest, a big part of it is the result of trying to save our marriage. The idea that things would be better if we could just start over someplace fresh and new. That maybe if we found a house sturdy and solid enough it could somehow hold our marriage and our family together for just a little bit longer. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I worry that we have moved so much as a way to escape the past, as if we're trying to outrun the years of arguments and frustrations between us. Each time things are better temporarily, but then eventually those years began to catch back up. So we run again. Maybe if we move back to Ohio, or back to our hometown, or if we can find the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood it will make everything better between us.

I just finished reading "All the Way Home" Afterward I found myself no longer yearning for perfection, but destruction. Sometimes I think if I could just get my hands dirty and start tearing down the walls of myself.. all of those protective barriers.. I would finally find what it is that lies at my very core. I just want to strip myself down of all those years and years of covering up messes and expose myself for who I truly am. Imperfect. Flawed. Broken. Lost. Empty. Weak. And yet.. strong, faithful, loving, passionate, creative, and hopeful.

So here we are now in a new house in a new town once again and something feels different this time. I don't want to leave. The more I wander around the streets and feel the sidewalk under my feet the more grounded I feel. The more I yearn to know what causes this town to breathe.. to pulse in anticipation of what lies around the next corner. Suddenly I am not afraid to look ahead of me instead of always checking my back to see if my past has followed along at my heels. I invite those memories, weaknesses and hesitations to walk along beside me. When they begin to grow weary of the journey I take those pieces of myself, the ghosts of my past, and hold them close, but not so much that they begin to suffocate and grip me with fear.

And then we, my past and I, invited a new friend along for the walk. At first my fears quivered inside of me and began to close themselves off again as I talked about doorways and windows, railing and balconies. But then I felt myself slowly growing more comfortable, my insecurities slipping away.. and I began to share those small bits and pieces of myself as if attempting to put together a puzzle for someone else. As I spoke aloud, I attempted to make sense of the words coming out of my mouth and for a minute it all seemed clear. But then the images gradually began to slip through the cracks in our foundation as I found my way back home, alone once again. As I laid in bed last night my mind drifted off to images of tree roots pushing through concrete sidewalks..

As summer begins to come to an end and signs of fall begin to appear I find myself going inward, searching my heart for what it is that I am truly seeking. I feel that maybe if I keep walking and continue writing.. and if I stop trying to control everything and instead just allow myself to be patient and listen, the pieces might begin to start falling naturally into place again. And maybe, just maybe.. somewhere along the way I'll just happen to run into whatever it is that I have been searching for all along.

It's funny but when I sat down at the computer today I didn't have any intention of sharing these thoughts with you. I actually had planned to write about another book that I just finished, "The Summer Kitchen", which has given me even deepen insight into the empty parts of myself. For some reason or another this is what came out instead. I'm not going to try to understand it or analyze it though. I'm just going to finish up this sentence, hit publish, and trust that everything happens for a reason.

XOXO, Erin

Australia study

2009-09-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

This past spring I won a contest and received a set of beautiful handmade cards from one of my favorite blog friends, the sweet and lovely Amber from Adventures of a Rainbow mama. Along with her cards she sent us a package of Australian goodies. The boys have been inspired ever since to learn more about where all the neat stuff in the mail came from.

As a result, we have decided to start our school year off with a study of Australia. We have checked out and read every book at the library on the subject. We spent the past week doing craft projects, including coral reef sponge paintings, outback collages, aboriginal dot paintings, and coloring pages both online and at home of the Sydney Opera House. We watched a DVD we rented from the library and enjoyed seeing camel races, extreme rowing, and sheep shearing contests. This past week was a basic introduction. We will continue studying more in depth for the rest of the month.. or until the boys are ready to move on to something else. :)

Our first week of school was definitely a challenge for me. It's going to take me some time to find a good balance between managing household responsibilities and schooling. Life can be unpredictable and I have no way of knowing what the future holds, so I am trying to take each day as it comes and see how this year goes before making a long term commitment. Regardless of if this is something we choose to continue after this year or not, I can at least say that we gave it a try. The one thing I have learned in my life is that it important to take chances so that you don't look back later in life and regret not having done something. I am looking forward to what comes out of this experience and am going to try to relax and enjoy the process along the way. :)

Landslide/ E's birthday

2009-08-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

I am not a big country music fan, although after living in Nashville, TN for almost 5 years it began to grow on me a little. (I also gained an appreciation for bluegrass music.) I do like the Dixie Chicks though. Those women have guts and Natalie is just cute as a button. I think they did a good job with Stevie Nick's song. I also have the Tori Amos version on my play list (Speaking of, don't forget to pause it while listening to this video.) Anyway.. today is my youngest son's birthday. It's hard to believe he is 4 already! My baby has suddenly grown into a little boy. :) These song lyrics have been on my mind today so I thought I would share this video with you along with a few photos of E over the years. :) Enjoy!

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. ~Rabindranath Tagore

Homeschooling: Week one- Field trip!

2009-08-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

Hello my beloved friends and family!

Things are finally starting to wind down a bit around here after a crazy busy summer. I am hoping to begin blogging more regularly from now on. I also want to apologize for being such a neglectful reader and commenter. I have missed keeping up with what is going on in everyone's lives. Now that the weather is cooling down and life is beginning to slow, I look forward to spending some time catching up with all of you. :)

Our first week of school started off with a field trip to Papaw and Lexi's for several days while I prepared some projects for the upcoming week. I sent along my camera with them so that I wouldn't miss a thing! Oh, and I know I tend to go overboard on the pics, but my dad took so many cute photos that it was really difficult to choose which ones to post!

The boys spent time organic gardening and helped bake cookies and banana bread..

They spent time cheering up and old friend..

And playing with a new friend..

They also visited the local animal shelter and welcomed another dog into the family..

My little zebras then visited Rolling Ridge Ranch in Amish Country, where they took a wagon ride and got to feed and pet all sorts of exotic animals. :)

They returned home this afternoon after a fun (and educational!) visit and lots of exciting stories to share. As nice as it was to have a bit of a "break".. I've missed my buddies and am happy to have them back again. :)

Although, give me a few days and I might be ready for another field trip.. ha!

XOXO, Erin

Preparing to homeschool...

2009-08-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

painting

2009-08-20T12:14:00.000-07:00

In case you've been wondering what we've been up to lately...

Corner View - Best kept secret (s)

2009-07-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

Wow, is it really Wednesday again already? This summer is flying by!

This week's corner view is "Best Kept Secret". We have only lived in our new town for a little over 3 weeks, so I have yet to discover the secrets of this special place we now call home. I have decided instead to share with you a few secrets about myself. Last week I tried to restrain myself from posting too many photos.. sorry, but I just couldn't hold them in any longer!

My all time favorite book is "The Secret Garden"..

I love taking walks and coming across hidden paths that lead to secret places. We discovered this little jewel in the heart of downtown Charleston, where we visited recently. Oh be still my beating heart.. the only thing that would have made this garden more magical would have been fairy lights strung through the tree branches.

And now I will take you into the hidden places within our home..

Where I will share with you my secrets to hiding clutter..

In baskets..

In boxes..

And bowls..

And don't forget to cover your tracks with slipcovers, quilts, and throw pillows..

And now I present you with a few of my beauty secrets.. 2 Words: Baby Products.

They are gentle on your skin and leave you smelling powdery soft and oh so dreamy. :) I also love to use baby wipes (not pictured) to clean up messes and sticky hands.

Well, I can't share all of my secrets with you. Most of them are hidden within my daydreams, between the pages of my favorite books, and on screen in films that take me to far away places..

And of course my deepest and best kept secrets are stored within my heart, protected by God. Although I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.. so if there is something more you would like to know about me, just ask. I don't have much to hide. :)

This will be my last Corner View post until September. We are all taking a break for awhile and will then resume. Once I start homeschooling in a month or two I am hoping to start blogging again more regularly as a way to keep track of what we're doing. I look forward to getting back into the habit of writing again.. it has become a good outlet for me. :)

Much love and many blessings to you all,
Erin

Corner View- Wknd 7:45

2009-07-21T18:46:00.000-07:00

Hello sweet bloggy fiends of mine. :) We had quite a busy bee of a weekend! My mom came to stay for a couple of nights, we had a million errands to run in the city, plus I have been in the process of continuing to unpack and am also starting to get our homeschooling classroom ready. In between the craziness though I did manage to capture a few pics!

This week's Corner View was a bit different.. we were supposed to record what we were doing at 7:45 Fri, Sat, and Sun evenings this weekend, so here we go! (Oh, and I have a tendency to post too many photos, so I'm really trying to capture the exact time by only showing one shot of each evening this time.)

Friday evening at 7:45 we were out taking a family stroll in our new neighborhood. I took a few photos of some beautiful homes along the way. This one was my favorite.. I absolutely have to find out who lives there and become friends with them. Ha!

Saturday at 7:45 we were making shadow puppets on the walls in the boys' bedroom.. one of our favorite bedtime activities!

Sunday evening my mom took the boys to a baseball game so J and I went to Trader Joe's to stock up on pantry items. I actually remembered to take my camera with me to the store, but forgot to snap a pic.. so here's an after shot. :)

I look forward to seeing and hearing about what everyone else was up to at the same time each night! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

XOXO, Erin

Corner view- Another double post!

2009-07-14T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hello sweet friends of mine! We're finally starting to unpack and get settled into our new place, but we didn't have internet last week yet so I missed this past Wednesday's corner view. The topic was "Places of Worship.. or places of Reflection" I thought I would take this time to share with you some of my favorite places to relax and reflect in our new home along with a few photos of our new church community. Be prepared for lots of photos! :)

This week's topic is "The Unveiling, showing your true self". Unlike a lot of bloggers who tend to stay behind the camera, I love taking self portraits! That being said, I had a difficult time trying to think of a way to reveal myself from a different perspective. This is one of the reasons I love Corner View so much.. it challenges you to think out of the box! I decided to take photos today that showed me in a way that only my family and close friends have seen. When I first wake up in the morning (before shower, coffee, or makeup.. although I did sneak on a bit of lipgloss), eating cereal out of the box, during daily tasks such as dish washing and bed making, and before bed at night in the bath.. which is by far my ultimate place of reflection and worship. It is there in those rare quiet moments that my head is most clear and I can sense God closer than ever. Enjoy taking a peek into my (up until now) private world! :)

XOXO, Erin

Update

2009-07-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Hello my beloved bloggy friends. :) We just moved this past weekend and finally got our internet hooked up. I'm going to have to do another double post next Wed for "Corner View" and try to catch up on all of your posts as soon as I can. In the meantime I will be unpacking and cleaning. Miss you all and look forward to sharing new blogs and photos with you as soon as things get back to "normal" around here. :)

Corner View: Music & food staples

2009-07-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Sorry I missed last week's Corner View. We were at the beach and didn't have a good internet connection. The owner of our new house left her piano there, so the boys are beyond thrilled! We visited the house a few nights ago and they put on quite the concert. My oldest played the low notes ("the thunder") and my youngest, the high notes ("the rain"). They are now excited by the idea of taking piano lessons. Growing up I took Suzuki lessons, which is basically learning to play by ear. I did also have another teacher who tried to teach me to read music, but I had a difficult time picking it up. I play better now by listening. I would love for the boys to learn, but am not sure yet what method is best for them. For now, they just have fun making up their own pieces, such as "Storm". :)

Well folks, you caught me just in time! This week's corner view is "Food Staples" and with only two days left until we move, I am planning to pack the pantry food up tomorrow. A few of my must have pantry staples are Olive oil, sea salt, and agave nectar. Also, beans, lentils, pasta, oatmeal, Kashi cereal, almond milk, and Lara bars. And although not pantry staples.. we are always well stocked up on plenty of fresh fruits and veggies.. especially apples and bananas.

I am so excited about the walk-in pantry at our new house! I have been wanting to start buying in bulk, but haven't had the space to store everything until now! The cute little stairs and door at the far end of the pantry is a fire escape that leads from the boys bdrm closet. How cool is that?

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

Music Video Monday

2009-06-29T06:14:00.000-07:00

"Playground" by Sia somehow became our vacation theme song. I can not tell you how many times the boys requested it. By the end of the trip I was a bit exhausted of listening to "#8", but it will always remind me of our time spent together at the beach. :)

I am also including a second video, from "The Notebook" set to Coldplay's "Fix You". I convinced J while in Garden City to leave a day early and drive to Charleston. We only had one afternoon while there and I desperately wanted to go to the Boone Hall Plantation, where part of "The Notebook" was filmed.. but since we only had enough time for one activity, we decided to take the boys to the Children's Museum instead. I did get to at least drive by it though and am already planning our trip back next year. :)

Separately, the song and the movie always brings me to tears, so the combination of the two nearly caused a flood.. lol.

Hope y'all have a wonderful week!

Update!

2009-06-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hey y'all! (Can you tell I just got back from the South?)

Just wanted to quickly fill you in. We arrived home from our vacation last night. Had an amazing time, but are drained and busy now finishing up packing for our move in 5 days! We visited my brother and his wife in Fayetteville, NC and then went Ocean City where we stayed with my family at a condo that stepped right out onto the beach (we are feeling totally spoiled now!) Then we (Okay, I..) decided to make a spur of the moment whirlwind side trip to one of my dream destinations.. Charleston, SC before stopping to spend the night in Virginia. And here we are now home and wishing we were still at the beach! :)

I just put some photos from our trip on Flickr, which you can link to from here. Looking forward to sharing more with you after we move.. but have to get back to packing for now!

Miss you all so much and hope to catch up on your posts soon!

Much love,
Erin

Corner View- Street fashion

2009-06-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that this topic was a bit of a challenge for me. We currently live in suburban Ohio, where it is difficult to find someplace to people watch, with the exception of the mall. I'm not quite sure that street style exists here, but we decided to go in search of it anyhow.

Day 1-

When you are going in search of style you should make sure to look extra stylish yourself, as to draw other fashionable people to you. Wearing sunglasses is an essential part of a style observer's wardrobe, as is a matching puffy vest in which to store a small notepad and colored pencils for sketching design ideas.

A good sturdy vintage camera is also important.

We are now on the lookout for street fashion.

With the exception of golfers, there doesn't seem to be anyone outside on a weekday afternoon, so we headed to the skate park.. which also turned out to be deserted.

Where on Earth is everyone?? We decided that they all must either be swimming or working..

By this point we were no longer concerned with finding fashionable people, just people in general would be good. Any.. body... out.. there.. ??

After deciding that we must be the only humans left on Earth (with the exception of those who are either swimming or working) we took advantage of having all the space in the World to ourselves by putting on an impromptu play in an empty amphitheater.

Day 2-

Having given up on real people, we decide to head in a different direction today by paying E's peeps a visit.

We are starting to wonder why we wasted so much time searching for people yesterday. Mannequins are friendly, easy to get along with, sporty yet stylish, and easy to photograph. I can see why E likes them so much!

After chatting with the gang for a bit, we headed next door for some coffee, muffins, and free smoothie shots. We also finally discovered an excellent people watching spot for future trend spotting. :)

Thanks for joining us! Hope you had fun!

XOXO, Erin

Music Video Monday

2009-06-15T11:44:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I know I haven't kept up with my videos. Not sure anyone even watches them. This is one of my favorite songs and it's been on my mind today. Hope you all have a good week.. "see" you on Wed for Corner View!

Corner View- backdoor window view

2009-06-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

This a the view from the sliding glass doors at our townhouse where we are now. We have a patio and a large shared green space out back with a playground. I love to sit on the patio and watch the birds come to the feeder. They have become used to my presence and as long as I stay still, they often come pretty close to me! :) The tree on our patio and the ones in the yard are now lush and green, this photo was taken the beginning of Spring when everything was just beginning to emerge.

And this is a photo from the backdoor window of our new home, which we will be moving into in a few weeks. We absolutely cannot wait to have our own private outdoor space! The patio and yard obviously both need some work. It's completely fenced in, and although you can't see in the photo, to the left is a garden and towards the back right are a couple of large pine trees. Along the side of the house are a few remaining rose bushes. I think it's going to be a wonderful place to relax once the owner and I restore it back to it's original "English garden" beauty! :)

Corner View- The Beach

2009-06-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

I would love to live close to the ocean. Unfortunately in Ohio the closest thing we have are lakes. This photo was taken last summer at Lake Erie, near Cleveland.. which is about a 2 1/2 hour drive for us from here. J and I have not been to the ocean as adults and the boys have not seen it at all, so we are sooooo excited to be taking our first vacation to North and South Carolina in a few weeks! My mom rented a condo for our entire family for a week, which steps right out onto the beach. We are really looking forward to the boys seeing the ocean for the first time and spending time with my family relaxing and playing in the sand and sea!

I'm sure I will take tons of photos to share with you after our return! :)

Make-up for missing music video Mondays

2009-05-27T16:03:00.000-07:00

I know this doesn't replace the many Mondays I have missed, but the boys bought this CD for me for Mother's Day and they ADORE this song, so it's been playing in the car over and over. I just discovered there's a music video for it.. Enjoy!

Corner View: Cityscape & new updates!

2009-05-27T13:36:00.001-07:00

Okay, okay.. so I didn't actually make it into the city to take a photo. I cheated and took this pic from a Columbus Visitors guide magazine I had laying around. :) We rarely go into the city, with the exception of occasionally going to the North Market, the downtown library, or to a museum. We tend to stay in our own little suburb most of the time, and I'm not sure there are any high places here to climb besides dancing hare hill. You won't get a cityscape shot from up there though, just maybe some pics of newly developed housing communities.. ha. :)

I do have a few good excuses though. Since I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus, I thought I would take this time to share with some things that have been keeping me busy on my break, so you all don't think I've just been lazily floating around the pool sipping on a cool drink. (Although, that's what I would way rather be doing!)

Today I spent the day sorting through closets, dividing piles of clothes, bagging up outgrown fall and winter clothes to either sell to "Once Upon a Child" or give away. Organizing and Hanging up Spring and Summer clothes..

My next task after I finish writing this blog.. going through all the kids' toys and re-sorting them again for the millionth time..

I have also been very busy purging and packing.. because..

We are moving in a month! No, we didn't end up getting the Church house, instead we found someplace even more perfect for us! :) More details on that soon..

Our new town has some really good thrift shops close by which I am ecstatic about. I recently picked up a few things there for our new house.. (everything in this pic was around $3-5 or less.)

Along with some vintage-y luggage for our upcoming beach trip!

Whenever I am thrifting, I try to have an idea in mind of what I am specifically searching for so that I don't become overwhelmed or get off track. My inspiration for our new house comes from a page out of "Bazaare Style". A patchwork themed living room! I could honestly stare at and drool over this page for days..

This was one item that I didn't get from a thrift store, but I just had to share it with you anyway because it is my beloved Amy Butler fabric! I snagged it up at Marshall's, along with a cute Ralph Lauren bikini. Love their prices!

And I found this sweet bird necklace at Target for $10. :)

Finding awesome deals makes me so happy! We are looking forward to our family beach trip in a few weeks (my mom's Christmas gift to us:) and will be moving into our new house a few days after we return! It's going to be a crazy time! The boys have been enjoying the warm weather outside and are hoping to go swimming this weekend now that our community pool has opened. My oldest only has a few more days of school left and then we will finally be able to start focusing on homeschooling! We are looking forward to good changes hopefully coming soon. :)

I hope you all are doing well.. although I haven't been commenting as much, I still try to read your blogs as often as I can!

Much love and many blessings to you all.

XOXO, Erin

Corner View "Coffee"

2009-05-20T06:42:00.001-07:00

This week's corner view is coffee. I have to say that I love coffee but it doesn't always love me. I recently quit drinking it for about 6 months as a result of struggling with insomnia and anxiety. For the past couple of weeks I have had it again, but in moderation.. I hope to quit entirely one day though. I buy Organic fair trade coffee and like mine with just a splash of almond milk. There are a couple of chain restaurants close by, including Starbucks and Caribou, but we try to support local business as much as possible and usually go to Firehouse coffee where the boys like to get smoothies and sometimes a sweet treat. Enjoy!

Morning coffee..

Firehouse coffee..

Caribou kid's corner..

And since I was sick last Wednesday, don't forget to check out last week's corner view "The Great Outdoors" below!

Corner View- last week's theme "The Great Outdoors"

2009-05-20T05:58:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! Yes, I'm a week's theme behind as a result of being sick last Wednesday. Thankfully I found out after being tested that I do not have swine flu. I do indeed have an upper respiratory infection and gastritis though, which I am taking medicine for now and seems to be helping. :) Thank you again for all your sweet healing wishes and prayers last week!

Living in the suburbs, most of our great outdoor time is spent either at parks or in the shared community green space off of our patio. We enjoy feeding our neighborhood birds, studying nature, and writing and drawing in nature notebooks..

View from our patio..

Mourning dove

Re-filling birdfeeders

Tiny baby bunny on our patio

Pine cone study

And drawing

Ant Hill

Nature Paintings

Grasshopper

And bird

Hide and seek

Relaxing in the grass..

Also, feel free to check out my older posts to see photos of some of the beautiful parks in our area. :)

Coffee post is up next!

Corner View..

2009-05-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. I've been sick the past few days with a flu bug and then started having severe neck problems again, so have been unable to move and barely get out of bed. J's been home with me, but had to go back to work today. I am going back to the chiropractor for more therapy this afternoon, so hopefully it will start helping. I was up most of the night in uncomfortable pain and am keeping A home from school today so I can try to rest a bit more. I was hoping to get out this past weekend to take pics for this week's Corner View, but was stuck inside with the flu. :( I thought about posting some older photos, but being on the computer right now longer than 5 minutes is making me queasy.. so instead I thought I'd wait until next Wednesday and do a double post, if that's okay? I look forward to sharing more with you then, and can hopefully catch up on all of your posts soon. :)

XOXO,

Erin

Happy mama bird Day!

2009-05-10T08:52:00.000-07:00

Wishing you all a happy & blessed day filled with love!

Hugs and kisses,

Erin

Corner View- Shopping

2009-05-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

Although I have decided to take a Holiday from blogging for awhile, I have decided to continue participating in Jane's Corner View each Wednesday.

Where I live now we are surrounded mostly by chain stores. Within 5 minutes from us you can find all the big name stores, Target, Old Navy, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc. There is also a nice mall close by which I rarely visit now that our oldest is too big for the play area. Occasionally when the weather is pretty, we go to Easton Town Center to wander around my beloved Anthropologie store. :)

We love take weekend mini-road trips to quaint small towns nearby. I adore quirky antique filled towns where you can find one of a kind treasures. One of my favorite places to spend the afternoon is in Amish Country very close to where my husband and I both grew up. These particular photos were taken in Millersburg, OH. My favorite store there is 55 West & Co which sells a combination of antiques and funky home decor. There is also an awesome used bookstore, which sells lots of vintage childrens books. The next town over, Berlin, has an incredible flea market and many other darling little shops as well. There is also a sweet coffee shop, children's toy store that sells all natural wooden toys and playmobile, and a nice little health food store to pick up goodies for a picnic before heading back home..

Enjoy!